The number of older people is increasing. Some people think this is causing problems in their countries while others feel that older people play an important role in society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #countries #role #society

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent times,

people

Use synonyms

are getting older than ever before. It is often argued that

this

Linking Words

trend brings about some issues,

while

Linking Words

others believe the role of the elderly is irreplaceable.

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will inevitably lead to higher healthcare costs, it is my firm belief that the assistance of older

people

Use synonyms

significantly

contribute

Change the verb form

contributes

show examples

to our

society

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, a growing population of

people

Use synonyms

aged 65 or older will cause the costs of

Use synonyms

health

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

care

Use synonyms

providers to rise.

This

Linking Words

is simply because

people

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

stage in life are prone to become ill more often. As they grow older, they will need frequent medical supervision or specific treatments, which have proven to be expensive.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is only natural that

Use synonyms

health

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

care

Use synonyms

providers are forced to adjust their

prizes

Correct your spelling

prices

show examples

, in order to cope with the increasing demand. Despite

this

Linking Words

, a healthy and

consequently

Linking Words

functioning

society

Use synonyms

is more important than

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

expenditure.

However

Linking Words

, the population of elderly

people

Use synonyms

can be an asset to every

society

Use synonyms

. If

people

Use synonyms

live longer, they will be able to contribute more to communities.

That is

Linking Words

to say, even after retirement they can spend money as a customer, which fosters the economy, or provide supervision for their grandchildren.

For example

Linking Words

, many families in Germany decide to live in a multi-generational house, as the grandparents are able to look after the young children,

while

Linking Words

both parents are offered to continue to work.

Thus

Linking Words

, giving back to

society

Use synonyms

is dramatically more important than having to pay more money to maintain one's

health

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

this

Linking Words

essay has shown that a population that consists of a large number of elderly

people

Use synonyms

can cause drawbacks,

such

Linking Words

as higher

Use synonyms

health

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

care

Use synonyms

costs.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, the role of

people

Use synonyms

at the age of retirement should be valued

in particular

Linking Words

because they are of great magnitude for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

Submitted by philipp_becker on Sat Aug 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your response covers both views as required and presents a clear, personal opinion. To further improve, try to include a greater variety of specific examples to provide a more comprehensive argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider using more linking phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are well-supported, but expanding on certain points with more detailed evidence would strengthen your argument.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear and concise introduction that sets up the discussion effectively.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the personal opinion, contributing to a strong finish.

task achievement

The essay addresses both views and provides a balanced discussion with a clear personal opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter • explain your situation • describe your problems • tell him/her when you think you can start. You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write your own address.
I have to kindly apologize, because I am not able to start the next week at the work. I was so exicted and prepared.
<4
band
Some people believe that volunteer work should be a requirement for teenagers in high schools (for instance working for a charity). To what extend do you agree or disagree?
According to my opinion, volunteer work should not be a requirement for anyone in society. Term of requierement is in connection the word necessity. But volunteer means doing something without any force or requierement. For this reason, volunteer work and requierement conflict with each other. If volunteer work will be a requierement for teenagers in high school, then this situation will push teenagers away from volunteer work and volunteer work will lose its meaning. It should be a choice for everyone.
5
band
If you have 1 hour of free time, do you choose to read or exercise?
Nowadays as an employee we don’t have much time to do activities such as reading or exercise . Both of these activities have benefits for you. Reading a book gives you more information and new knowledge. Exercising helps you to lose weight and get a firm body. If I have 1 hour of free time , I will read books because of these following reasons.
<4
band
Some people say that museum should be free where as others opine that some entry fee should be there. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Museum is one of the places where people often go for old thing our antique things which are used in a history. We will be discissing both side of opinion.
4.5
band
When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
There are plenty of views about the answer for choosing a life that individuals do not necessary to work and work for their whole lives, however, citizens mostly chose the more comfortable one. The writer disagrees with the statement because of the lack of services and exhaustion of energy due to there is none of individuals run the occupation.

The number of older people is increasing. Some people think this is causing problems in their countries while others feel that older people play an important role in society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that volunteer work should be a requirement for teenagers in high schools (for instance working for a charity). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

If you have 1 hour of free time, do you choose to read or exercise?

Some people say that museum should be free where as others opine that some entry fee should be there. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?