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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table shows the average length of video advertisements on the Internet and the average length of time viewers spend watching them. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The table shows the average length of video advertisements on the Internet and the average length of time viewers spend watching them. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
This
Linking Words
 table illustrates the mean length of online
advertisements
Use synonyms
 and the average
time
Use synonyms
 that people spend
on
Change preposition
apply
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watching them. The ads which are most common among all of the types is Public service.The average
time
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 type of ad is 45.8
seconds
Use synonyms
 with a watch
time
Use synonyms
 of 18.5
seconds
Use synonyms
.The length of clothing
advertisements
Use synonyms
 is the smallest among all of the types
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
14.6
seconds
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 and people spend only six
seconds
Use synonyms
 watching these
advertisements
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, automotive, entertainment and other retail have the highest length of
advertisements
Use synonyms
 with
time
Use synonyms
 lengths of 27.2
seconds
Use synonyms
, 27.8
seconds
Use synonyms
 and 4.5
seconds
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
 Humans have spent most of their
time
Use synonyms
 watching automotive
advertisements
Use synonyms
 among entertainment and other retail with an average
time
Use synonyms
 of 14.7
seconds
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,clothing and pharmaceuticals are advertised for the shortest amount of
time
Use synonyms
 which is 14.6 and 15.3
seconds
Use synonyms
 and communities have spent only 6 and 7.1
seconds
Use synonyms
 respectively on watching them.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words advertisements, time, seconds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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