Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In
this
contemporary world, Music
become a source of unity among individuals regardlesss
of their belongings and ages of the human. I strongly Correct your spelling
regardless
agreed
with Wrong verb form
agree
this
above mentioned
notion because Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
music
brings all humans together under one roof and also
Add a missing verb
is also
helpfull
in the treatment of mental issues.
Correct your spelling
helpful
Music
of any generation becomes the symbol of prosperity . They attracts
Change the verb form
attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
eithert
Correct your spelling
whether
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
belongs
to any religion or Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
having
any culture . Wrong verb form
have
Now a days
, Correct the word
Nowadays
punjabi
Change the capitalization
Punjabi
music
is the most popular among youth specially
. Replace the word
especially
For instance
, few
days back Change the article
a few
i
got a chance to attend Change the capitalization
I
the
concert in Correct article usage
a
lahore
city . people of different ages came to attend the concert mostly old and young Change the capitalization
Lahore
person
. Fix the agreement mistake
people
Crowd
consist of thousands of audience from Correct article usage
The crowd
different
Add an article
the different
a different
community
like Fix the agreement mistake
communities
sikh
, and some foreigners too .
In recent times anxiety and stress Correct your spelling
Sikhs
were
more common even in Wrong verb form
have been
young
generation Correct article usage
the young
due to
imbanlce
in work-life . People work hard all Correct your spelling
imbalances
the
day and Correct article usage
apply
burning
the midnight to Wrong verb form
burn
fullfil
the financial requirements of Correct your spelling
fulfil
family
. Add an article
the family
a family
Therefore
, people would
love to Verb problem
apply
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
music
to lower down
mental stress . Change preposition
apply
Music
not only provide
relief but Change the verb form
provides
also
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
up
the energy to perform work more effectively . Change preposition
apply
For example
in mental
care hospital (Rehabilitation Correct article usage
a mental
center
) , there is Change the spelling
centre
special
time for all the Add an article
a special
patient
to Fix the agreement mistake
patients
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
music
daily . this
musical therapy bring
Change the verb form
brings
may
changes in their mental health.
Correct your spelling
many
Thus
, it is concluded that music
bring
Change the verb form
brings
the
Correct article usage
apply
human
together and Fix the agreement mistake
humans
play
a healthy role in life.Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
Submitted by muhammadahtsham457 on
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Argument Development
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Coherence Improvement
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Introduction
The introduction clearly states your viewpoint and sets the stage for your argument.
Examples Provided
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Conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your agreement with the idea, leaving a strong closing impression.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.