‏Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. ‏To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#‏some #people #music #cultures #ages #‏to

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this

Linking Words

contemporary world,

Music

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become a source of unity among individuals

regardlesss

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regardless

of their belongings and ages of the human. I strongly

agreed

Wrong verb form

agree

show examples

with

this

Linking Words

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

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notion because

music

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brings all humans together under one roof and

Linking Words

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

helpfull

Correct your spelling

helpful

in the treatment of mental issues.

Music

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of any generation becomes the symbol of prosperity . They

attracts

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attract

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human

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humans

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eithert

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whether

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they

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belongs

Correct subject-verb agreement

belong

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to any religion or

having

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have

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any culture .

Now a days

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Nowadays

show examples

punjabi

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Punjabi

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music

Use synonyms

is the most popular among youth

specially

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especially

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

few

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a few

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days back

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show examples

got a chance to attend

the

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show examples

concert in

lahore

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Lahore

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city . people of different ages came to attend the concert mostly old and young

person

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people

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Crowd

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The crowd

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consist of thousands of audience from

different

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the different

a different

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community

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communities

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sikh

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Sikhs

, and some foreigners too . In recent times anxiety and stress

were

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have been

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more common even in

young

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the young

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generation

due to

Linking Words

imbanlce

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imbalances

in work-life . People work hard all

the

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apply

show examples

day and

burning

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burn

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the midnight to

fullfil

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fulfil

the financial requirements of

family

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the family

a family

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Therefore

Linking Words

, people

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

love to

listen

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listen to

show examples

music

Use synonyms

to lower

down

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apply

show examples

mental stress .

Music

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not only

provide

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provides

show examples

relief but

also

Linking Words

boost

Correct subject-verb agreement

boosts

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the energy to perform work more effectively .

For example

Linking Words

mental

Correct article usage

a mental

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care hospital (Rehabilitation

center

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centre

show examples

) , there is

special

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a special

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time for all the

patient

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patients

show examples

listen

Add the preposition

listen to

show examples

music

Use synonyms

daily .

this

Linking Words

musical therapy

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

may

Correct your spelling

many

show examples

changes in their mental health.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is concluded that

music

Use synonyms

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

together and

play

Correct subject-verb agreement

plays

show examples

a healthy role in life.

Submitted by muhammadahtsham457 on Sat Aug 24 2024

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Grammar Correction

Ensure to proofread your essay to eliminate grammatical errors and improve sentence construction.

Argument Development

While your main points are relevant, clarify them further to strengthen your argument. Include more precise examples and explanations.

Coherence Improvement

Improve the logical flow of the essay. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly.

Introduction

The introduction clearly states your viewpoint and sets the stage for your argument.

Examples Provided

You provided specific examples, such as the concert in Lahore, which enriches your argument and makes it relatable.

Conclusion

The conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your agreement with the idea, leaving a strong closing impression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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‏Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. ‏To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, people are purchasing fewer new items and more second-hand goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this positive or negative trend?

Write about the following topic. The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Developing countries require help offered by international organization to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aids is important. Other believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give youw own opinion.

Caring for children is very important for our society. Therefore all mother's and father's should take a child care training course. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the only important thing in life is his or her work. Without a successful career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?