In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What’s the situation like in your country? What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part-time jobs?

#countries #teenagers #jobs #what’s #situation #country

The majority of

parents

believe teenage age is the best phase for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenagers

to learn how to achieve something they want by working and struggling on their own.

This

phase is important to build their mindset as the basic principle to achieve something.

That is

why in many countries,

teenagers

are encouraged to do part-time

jobs

or forced by their

parents

. Currently, part-time

jobs

are becoming

Rephrase

very

show examples

popular among

teenagers

. The reasons are simple:

first,

they could save money and buy stuff from the wish list;

second,

the

teenagers

could practice and learn how to survive in society and

lastly

, to build their confidence. Those benefits are actually what the

parents

seek to teach their

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

. For

parents

, encouraging

the

Change the word

their

show examples

kids to do part-time

jobs

is like a final lesson and examination for children to prove themselves ready to tackle any challenges in the real world. In fact,

this

kind of method

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

proved by some researchers from Harvard that

teenagers

who

did

Wrong verb form

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

part-time

jobs

are mostly more mature and

skillful

Change the spelling

skilful

show examples

. Based on popular newspapers in Indonesia,

teenagers

are not eager to do part-time

jobs

because their

parents

are more

centered

Change the spelling

centred

show examples

on formal education.

Therefore

academic results and reporting

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

the priority for Indonesia's

teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

show examples

However

, there are some cases where the

parents

force their children to do the activity because they just want to marginalize the profit. Children’s exploitation often happens

for example

, In India

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenagers

are forcefully busking on the road or hawking to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

foreigners.

This

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

could break a teenager’s mentality, make them exhausted or even lead to an unworthy feeling.

Therefore

the regulation for

this

must be clear and not be

misuse

Wrong verb form

misused

show examples

. In conclusion, part-time

jobs

are an excellent activity for

teenagers

in order to build their mindset, knowledge and

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

It is clear that

teenagers

did part-time

jobs

they would be more mature.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

the parent’s supervision is important and the policy must be safe for the

teenagers

Submitted by megyfebryanisyah on Sat Aug 24 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to use specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly. For example, when discussing the benefits of part-time jobs, you could describe a particular scenario or success story.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating a smoother flow between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases such as 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'On the other hand' to guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

Refine your logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details that are directly related to it. This will help make the essay easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear opening and closing to your essay.

task achievement

Your essay covers multiple aspects of the topic, providing a well-rounded discussion.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of part-time jobs for teenagers.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

328 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What’s the situation like in your country? What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part-time jobs?

Your opinion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their lives. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+