IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#person #decision #support
In our lives, we have to make a lot of decisions. Some
people
 believe that if you want to make a decision you should take other's mind, on the other side we have some
people
 said that the best circumstance for making a choice is to be alone. I agree with the second. Our life is complicated so we should make decisions about everything. From which product do you want to use to whom do you want to marry? For all these positions we should make our choice. When you are alone you know your limits, your weakness, your Strengths and other things but if someone wants to help you, that person doesn’t know anything about you. You should tell him anything that you think it’s important even if it’s a secret. it’s hard for most of the
people
. But when you are alone, you
don’t
 think about what would happen if someone knew my secret. Another thing is you
don’t
 know that person has a sympathetic character to help you. Maybe the only thing he is thinking
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is how to harm you.
On the other hand
, many
people
 say that if you have a friend who wants the help you. Ok, I agree with that but my friend I took his advice, but there is no guarantee that that advice is helpful for me. Maybe my friend doesn’t have enough experience or doesn’t have the knowledge for that situation. After all these words, if you do what they said and the result is not the same as you thought, they
don’t
 take a part they will say you didn’t do that in the right way or you have mind you could think before doing that. All they offer you is excuses. So you think solo, you do solo and gain experience that will help you to make good decisions. Our choice is the obligation which we should do solo, taking other minds is good but it has a lot of risks which I
don’t
 like to take.
Submitted by ramenosko on

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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your essay more clearly. After your introduction, write separate body paragraphs for each main idea. This will make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points. For example, if you discuss making a decision about marriage, provide a hypothetical or real-life example to clarify your point.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas together more effectively. Use transition words such as 'however,' 'moreover,' and 'consequently' to show the relationships between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and states your position, which provides a good starting point for your argument.
task achievement
You have expressed your ideas quite clearly at times, which contributes to the overall communication of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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