IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are a famous singer and you have an idea for a new piece in your mind. Send a letter to the composer/producer and persuade them to help you make it.

I am Shaghayegh Shadman; we worked together on
"
Correct article usage
the "sunshine"
show examples
sunshine
Capitalize word
Sunshine
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" piece, which was a massive hit
at
Change preposition
in
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last
Linking Words
years
Change noun form
year's
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 music scene. I'm writing
this
Linking Words
 letter in order to ask you to compose a new
song
Use synonyms
 for my novel recording which can capture a wider range of audience for both of us.
This
Linking Words
song
Use synonyms
 has been inspired
from
Change preposition
by
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 a local couple's love whom I met
last
Linking Words
 month throughout my travel to the countryside; in my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 piece can be
combination
Add an article
a combination
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 of folk and modern music, the issue which can hold diverse music lovers' attention.
Accordingly
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
Use synonyms
song
Correct article usage
a song
show examples
 can be lucrative and rewarding at the same time
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and can make a "wine-wine" occasion for us. In my point of view, our cooperation can lead
this
Linking Words
 recording to be nominated for various prizes. I have written the
lyric
Fix the agreement mistake
lyrics
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 of
this
Linking Words
 piece during the
last
Linking Words
 week; in my mind, you are the most appropriate one who
can
Verb problem
apply
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give a life to
this
Linking Words
song
Use synonyms
 as our
last
Linking Words
 contribution was extremely successful around the world. Our collaboration in
this
Linking Words
 recording will make a big impact on people as you are a virtuoso composer who bears strong musical talent and can create incredible works. I keenly looking forward to your response; should any questions arise, make sure you contact me. best regards, Shaghayegh Shadman

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure smoother transitions between ideas. For example, use connective phrases like 'In addition' and 'Moreover.'
task achievement
Check for minor grammar and typographical errors to improve clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
You provided a clear explanation of your idea and why it would be beneficial for both of you, which adds to the persuasive power of your letter.
task achievement
The letter maintains a formal and respectful tone throughout, which is appropriate for a professional request.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are polite and effective, framing the content of your letter well.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaborate
  • inspiration
  • envision
  • expertise
  • preliminary
  • unique
  • commercial potential
  • artistic growth
  • enthusiastic
  • grateful
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