Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

#people #aim #balance #work #parts #lives

The

balance

between

work

and other parts of

life

is very difficult to do for many people but few people achieve it. In my opinion,

this

due to

working long

hours

, managing

time

can be a solution to overcome

this

problem. Nowadays, many people are struggling to achieve a

balance

between

work

and other things in

life

. The main problem is that they spend most of their

time

working.

For example

, if individuals

work

more than 10 or 12

hours

in a day with lots of tasks to do, they will not have free

time

to enjoy or to do other things.Over

time

this

imbalance can lead to stress, poor health, and a lack of

work-

life

balance

. The main problem here is that their focus on

work

takes up the majority of their day, leaving little

time

for relaxation or personal growth.

For

this

reason, it is hard for them to achieve the right

balance

between

work

and other sides of

life

. There are many solutions to overcome

this

issue.

Firstly

, companies should offer flexible working

hours

This

allows employees to manage their

time

for personal activities and helps to reduce stress.

Secondly

, employers should encourage a

work-

life

balance

culture. Employers can promote a supportive

work-

life

balance

culture by encouraging breaks and discouraging excessive overtime.

This

helps employees maintain a healthier lifestyle.These solutions can help overcome

this

issue. In conclusion, the struggle to achieve a

balance

between

work

and personal

life

is largely

due to

long working

hours

However

this

issue can be prevented by promoting flexible

work

arrangements and encouraging

work-

life

balance

culture.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Thu Sep 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples

Consider adding a few more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning how specific companies or countries have successfully implemented flexible working hours can provide concrete evidence.

clear comprehensive ideas

While your ideas were clear, try to elaborate on them slightly more. For instance, explain the consequences of stress and poor health due to work-life imbalance in a bit more detail.

complete response

Your essay clearly addressed the task and responded completely to the prompt.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion were well-constructed, providing a clear start and finish to your argument.

logical structure

Your essay displayed a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument from one point to the next.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the advantages?
In many nations nowadays, the decision of parents choosing to educate their offspring at home rather than sending them to authentic education is continuously rising. While the author believes that learning at their own house can be beneficial for financial purposes, this circumstance might provide an inadequate learning conditions and a non-competitive ambient for children. It must be acknowledged that studying purely at home is causing children to be isolated from authentic study experiences. In other words, guiders who have no expertise in teaching may pave the wrong way for their offspring to grasp the mechanism of a particular subject, which is a threatening factor to many upcoming exams. As a result, students are likely to undergo inadequate learning sensory that is harmful to their study progress. For example, home teachers in France have no qualifications in teaching, thus leading students to participate invalid in studying. Another point worth mentioning is that home educati...
7
band
Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?
It is apparent that many species today are facing extinction and many others are becoming endangered which has a devasting effect on the diversity of animals on our planet. This essay indicates that the drivers behind this phenomenon are global warming and illegal activities and the best solutions involve reducing pollution and introducing more animal-protection policies.
5.5
band
Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, whileothers require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which is better?
There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over the benefits of each system of education. While some claim that Students in their fifteenth year should focus on several core fields of study, the opposite makes a statement that Students need to absorb an abundance of knowledge before they can graduate.. While each has its own redeeming features, I would contend that it is optimal for students to study some certain subjects.
7.5
band
Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a common view that more concentration on the reduction of pollution in the environment and issues relating to houses will be able to offer prevention of illness and disease for inhabitants. This essay personally agrees with this statement, as pollution does play an essential role in the sickness of humans because of the increase in harmful chemicals.
4.5
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.
Many opine that advertising is extremely successful at persuading people to buy things, and others deny this because that advertising is so common that people no longer pay attention to it. In the case, I think that the important things of the effective advertising are the content of what to attract the customers.

Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the advantages?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, whileothers require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which is better?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.