Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

The
balance
between
work
and other parts of
life
is very difficult to do for many people but few people achieve it. In my opinion,
this
is
due to
working long
hours
, managing
time
can be a solution to overcome
this
problem. Nowadays, many people are struggling to achieve a
balance
between
work
and other things in
life
. The main problem is that they spend most of their
time
working.
For example
, if individuals
work
more than 10 or 12
hours
in a day with lots of tasks to do, they will not have free
time
to enjoy or to do other things.Over
time
,
this
imbalance can lead to stress, poor health, and a lack of
work-
life
balance
. The main problem here is that their focus on
work
takes up the majority of their day, leaving little
time
for relaxation or personal growth.
For
this
reason, it is hard for them to achieve the right
balance
between
work
and other sides of
life
. There are many solutions to overcome
this
issue.
Firstly
, companies should offer flexible working
hours
.
This
allows employees to manage their
time
for personal activities and helps to reduce stress.
Secondly
, employers should encourage a
work-
life
balance
culture. Employers can promote a supportive
work-
life
balance
culture by encouraging breaks and discouraging excessive overtime.
This
helps employees maintain a healthier lifestyle.These solutions can help overcome
this
issue. In conclusion, the struggle to achieve a
balance
between
work
and personal
life
is largely
due to
long working
hours
.
However
,
this
issue can be prevented by promoting flexible
work
arrangements and encouraging
work-
life
balance
culture.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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relevant specific examples
Consider adding a few more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning how specific companies or countries have successfully implemented flexible working hours can provide concrete evidence.
clear comprehensive ideas
While your ideas were clear, try to elaborate on them slightly more. For instance, explain the consequences of stress and poor health due to work-life imbalance in a bit more detail.
complete response
Your essay clearly addressed the task and responded completely to the prompt.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion were well-constructed, providing a clear start and finish to your argument.
logical structure
Your essay displayed a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument from one point to the next.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • flexible work arrangements
  • remote work
  • unplug
  • boundaries
  • workplace culture
  • societal pressure
  • stress management
  • time management
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