Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

#people #aim #balance #work #parts #lives

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The

balance

between

work

and other parts of

life

is very difficult to do for many people but few people achieve it. In my opinion,

this

due to

working long

hours

, managing

time

can be a solution to overcome

this

problem. Nowadays, many people are struggling to achieve a

balance

between

work

and other things in

life

. The main problem is that they spend most of their

time

working.

For example

, if individuals

work

more than 10 or 12

hours

in a day with lots of tasks to do, they will not have free

time

to enjoy or to do other things.Over

time

this

imbalance can lead to stress, poor health, and a lack of

work-

life

balance

. The main problem here is that their focus on

work

takes up the majority of their day, leaving little

time

for relaxation or personal growth.

For

this

reason, it is hard for them to achieve the right

balance

between

work

and other sides of

life

. There are many solutions to overcome

this

issue.

Firstly

, companies should offer flexible working

hours

This

allows employees to manage their

time

for personal activities and helps to reduce stress.

Secondly

, employers should encourage a

work-

life

balance

culture. Employers can promote a supportive

work-

life

balance

culture by encouraging breaks and discouraging excessive overtime.

This

helps employees maintain a healthier lifestyle.These solutions can help overcome

this

issue. In conclusion, the struggle to achieve a

balance

between

work

and personal

life

is largely

due to

long working

hours

However

this

issue can be prevented by promoting flexible

work

arrangements and encouraging

work-

life

balance

culture.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Thu Sep 26 2024

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relevant specific examples

Consider adding a few more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning how specific companies or countries have successfully implemented flexible working hours can provide concrete evidence.

clear comprehensive ideas

While your ideas were clear, try to elaborate on them slightly more. For instance, explain the consequences of stress and poor health due to work-life imbalance in a bit more detail.

complete response

Your essay clearly addressed the task and responded completely to the prompt.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion were well-constructed, providing a clear start and finish to your argument.

logical structure

Your essay displayed a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument from one point to the next.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
burnout
flexible work arrangements
remote work
unplug
boundaries
workplace culture
societal pressure
stress management
time management

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Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agrede or disagree?

The process below shows life cycle of a species of a large fish called salmon

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The rise of social media has affected personal relations and society as a whole. Do the advantage of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages. (CN)