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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows annual office rents in five international cities in 2008 and 2013. The table shows office vacancy rates in those cities

The chart shows annual office rents in five international cities in 2008 and 2013. The table shows office vacancy rates in those cities
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The bar chart illustrates the yearly office rents
in
Change preposition
for
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 half a decade (from 2018 to 2013) in international towns.
In addition
Linking Words
, the table displays the office vacancy percentage for the same cities. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, all the cities had a
dramartic
Correct your spelling
dramatic
 increase in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of annual rent per square metre except for
city
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 D.
Decpite
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Despite
 that,
city
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 D is the only
city
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 that had a rapid growth in vacancy rate by 13%,
while
Linking Words
 the other residents had a
fall
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. It was noticed from the chart that in 2008,
city
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 A had about 1,700 dollars as a yearly rental deposit, which was the highest payment, followed by
city
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 B with just under 1,500.
City
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 C had an annual rent
exactly
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of exactly
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 1000
dollar
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dollars
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 which is more than twice
as
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of
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Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
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 E. In 2013, a rapid increase
occured
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occurred
, and
city
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 B is at
peak
Correct pronoun usage
its peak
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 with about 2250
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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 per square metre,
while
Linking Words
city
Use synonyms
 D had a
fall
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 to reach more than 500. Regarding the table,
city
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 A had a
fall
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by
Change preposition
of
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 2% in 2013,
as well as
Linking Words
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
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 B which was 7% in 2008 but
then
Linking Words
 dropped to reach 2%.
Linking Words
Although
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Despite
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 the sudden
fall
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 that most of the towns had, resident D rocketed to hit a peak
at
Change preposition
in
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 2013 to reach 23%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words city, fall with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapid" was used 2 times.
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