It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Agree or disagree?

How to study effectively is a concerning issue for all students and their parents.
This
author opines that learners should live in universities
than
Rephrase
rather than
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staying
Wrong verb form
stay
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at
home
because of
its
Change the word
the
show examples
freedom
in studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
and no
families
Change the noun form
family
show examples
pressures. It is vital to acknowledge that it is necessary for pupils to learn abroad in schools to move to class easier and more convenient with smaller distance.
Due to
the fact that if they live at
home
, they will spend a lot of time
to go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
to
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
and struggle to emerge in college on time.
As a consequence
, their academic achievements will see a significant decline and they will have many difficulties in studying.
Therefore
, staying at
home
will
bring
Verb problem
cause
show examples
people who learn in universities more inconvenience than living at
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
. Another key component
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
case for living in universities is avoiding
families
Change the noun form
family
show examples
pressures. It should be self-evident that if pupils squander too much time with their parents, they will not concentrate on learning because of doing chores, inconsistent
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
show examples
and other
families
Change the noun form
family
show examples
pressures. In
this
situation, learners will not finish their homework in class and cannot pass the exam with higher
color
Change the spelling
colour
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. It must be
also
noted that studying with friends and teachers is more efficient than learning at
home
with
families
and students will easily learn and absorb more knowledge from their tutors.
Conclusion
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In conclusion
show examples
, it can be seen that the disadvantages of living at
home
and every
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
should
enhance
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
their children to study abroad for their future. Education is very important for everyone and all
families
should radically enable
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their sons and daughters to connect to education as much as possible.
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic. However, ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss, and make sure the conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points. Consider stating explicitly that you agree or disagree in the introduction to make your stance clear.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, work on the flow between paragraphs and sentences. Use linking words and phrases to enhance the logical structure. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more compelling and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. For instance, you might mention how being on campus facilitates productive study groups or interactions with professors.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating the same phrases. Instead, try to express similar ideas in different ways to keep your writing engaging. Vary your sentence structures to improve the overall readability.
task achievement
You made a good attempt at covering the key points of the topic. The essay discusses both the benefit of campus life for studying efficiency and the avoidance of family pressures.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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