IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone’ life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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‏Advertising has become a part of our lives. It is a highly debatable issue whether advertising is beneficial for
people
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, or whether it has a bad impact on
people
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's lives. I contend that advertising plays a vital role in individual lives. ‏Some
people
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 say that frequent exposure to advertising can lead to a reduction the attention to work and study.
People
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 may exaggerate in following the new current events. I think that they are totally wrong. Advertising aids individuals in looking for the best product and it takes a short time.
As a result
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,
people
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 can manage their time to balance work and watching advertising.
Furthermore
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, advertising can sometimes be misleading, providing false information or exaggerating the benefits of
a products
Correct the article-noun agreement
products
a product
show examples
.To illustrate , some brands like candy,have a lot of
accept
Replace the word
acceptance
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 from
people
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due to
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 the over exaggerating. ‏Contrary to individuals advertising provides us with new information about good products. If
people
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 miss the advertising, they will probably have no awareness of new and current technology.
For example
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, without advertising many of today’s brands like KFC could be unknown to
people
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.
Thus
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, it facilitates what
people
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 need to buy.
Moreover
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, advertising touches on social issues. It is not only for entertainment, but it
also
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 can solve many problems in society.
For instance
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,many professionals like photographers, singers and printers have a chance to get money, so
this
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 may reduce the unemployment rate and enhance living standards. In conclusion , it is certainly true that advertising has gradually taken place in our daily activities. I totally agree that advertising is helpful and beneficial for us.
Therefore
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, everyone should follow positive advertising.

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task achievement
Ensure that all examples provided are specific and clearly support the main points. For instance, elaborate more on how advertising has helped brands like KFC become well-known, and provide concrete data or scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by sentences that expand on that idea. Also, avoid inconsistent or contradictory statements. For example, the essay mentions both that advertising leads to frequent distraction and that one can balance work and watching advertising—these points should be reconciled or stated more clearly.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are both present and provide a clear stance on the topic.
depth
The essay covers multiple perspectives on advertising and provides a well-rounded discussion.
language
The language used is varied and shows a good command of vocabulary.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • informative
  • engages
  • creative
  • art form
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • misleading
  • exaggerating
  • vulnerable
  • unrealistic
  • body image expectations
  • competitive
  • economical
  • targeted ads
  • personalized ads
  • intrusive
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