More and more young people are using drugs and alcohol and as a result, breaking the law. What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions?
The youths are vital for the development of all countries in the world.
However
, there is a higher number of addictive cases or crimes from that group. By analysing the root causes by examining the influence of economic conditions and the responsibility of families, this
essay attempts to suggest some feasible approaches to mitigate the given phenomenon.
Firstly
, we should look directly at the fact that fresh graduates have had a low employment rate in recent years. The fewer chances to find a job could lead to a higher possibility that young ones could fall into addictions as the
desperate way for them to escape from hopeless career paths. Correct article usage
a
For example
, when someone is living in poverty, they could steal money from others. The solution for this
factor will be doable if adult people give more jobs to younger workers. In reality, it only happens when they have better preparation for both hard and soft skills. Eventually, freshers shall be more competitive in the labour market. However
, more investment in education should be considered by our dear leaders.
Secondly
, the increase in divorce rate, especially in developed nations, is an important variable for the mentioned social problem. A childhood that lacks care and attention from parents could get immature minds to expose with bad habits and tend against surrounding communities. For instance
, without the proper education, they may believe that using drugs or alcohol is not as bad as it should be. To cope with this
cause, I suggest that the involvement of families is the key driver to preventing addiction and reducing the criminal rate from that group. Instead
of spending too much time in the workplace, both parents should talk more with their children and then
immediately give them advice to shape their mankind.
In conclusion, while
unwanted social problems of lower age groups are increasing, there is more demand to have quick reactions to stop that tendency. Personally, I have a strong belief in the next generation if we could provide better conditions to nurture their development.Submitted by dinhthong1902 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on ensuring that your transition words and phrases are smoothly integrated into the text. For example, 'Secondly,' should not have a comma and line break separating it from the rest of the sentence.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully and ensure that all aspects of your argument are thoroughly supported with clear and relevant examples.
task achievement
Your argument could be stronger with a deeper analysis of the causes and solutions. Consider discussing more varied factors and elaborating on the suggested solutions in greater detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the argument well.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task comprehensively by discussing both causes and solutions to the problem.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.