Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Preferences of people continuously change and evolve very quickly. There is one quite popular trend nowadays when travellers are keen to visit hard-to-reach points on the Earth with brutal environments. I will discuss both the merits and demerits of
this
phenomenon. Visiting places with harsh climates and surroundings and overcoming all difficulties through the route can be the crucial changing point of character and personality for some people. The exhibition of Mount Everest can be a good example. The backpackers who have a passion for adventures and successfully reach the highest point admit that afterwards, they become mentally strong. They easily accept private hardships and solve them without crises and stagnation. Some of them changed their career paths and became mountaineering and climbing instructors and motivated others.
Therefore
it can be admitted that visiting places with rugged environments has a positive impact on some persons.
On the other hand
, these areas are dangerous and visiting them is extremely expensive. Anyone who desires to visit uninspected wild locations without preparation can easily face life-threatening situations. Jungles and desserts are not only interesting landmarks with captivating views. There are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of wild animals, poisonous plants and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harsh surfaces of soil or weather conditions can be unpleasant surprises for unprepared ones.
Additionally
, explorers should buy special costly equipment, to get into top shape and be fit, go through medical preparations like vaccinations or check-ups and hire professional guides to complete the route.
As a result
, it can be seen that
this
kind of travel
demand
Change the verb form
demands
show examples
a lot of effort for successful results. In conclusion, though visiting extreme places on our Planet might sound like a threatening idea, the changes which these areas give to personality are priceless.
Submitted by aliyarova.n on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your main points are consistently supported with relevant examples. Your example of Mount Everest is good, but incorporating an additional example would enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to elaborate more on the transition points between paragraphs to make your essay flow more smoothly. Having clear transitions will improve overall coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states the topic and sets up what will be discussed. This helps the reader understand the purpose of your essay from the start.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion neatly summarizes your points and reinforces your position, which is effective in rounding off your essay.
logical structure
Your points are well-organized, and each paragraph effectively covers an individual aspect of the question.
supported main points
You provide a relevant and specific example of Mount Everest, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: