The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, some technologies have been existed and used in the world. I agree that these have been developed as

the

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apply

show examples

important targets by experts to enhance our lives. Experts contribute to society to save our lives and to reduce climate change impact.

Firstly

, there are some achievements in the medical field. Many pharmacologists have invented the newest pills to treat various

Change preposition

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cancers. In the past, patients would suffer from side effects during medical therapy like loss

hair

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of hair

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, nausea and vomiting. They

also

had trouble concentrating or remembering things during drug treatments. These professional scholars in the medical field have developed RNA therapy and the latest pills to reduce side effects and treat cancers respectively.

Although

some various cancers can be treated, they still develop

the

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apply

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new drugs and methods as targets in order to enhance patients’ growth.

Secondly

, experts make lighter batteries and integrate them with AI systems in cars. Climate change is a great topic on our planet. Many organizations and governments research the latest batteries, which can be assembled with vehicles to drive on the roads,

instead

of gasoline.

Therefore

, we may never use gasoline at all in the future and reduce carbon dioxide emissions.

Moreover

this

IT system can detect which parts are malfunctioning and drive by itself as an autonomous vehicle. I think these electric vehicles can strengthen our activities and improve our environment. In conclusion, the latest pills and the state-of-the-art vehicles are beneficial for us. It is not only saving our souls but

also

improving our planet.

Submitted by chiehyun0820 on Sat Nov 18 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this idea is supported with specific examples or evidence.

Task Achievement

Work on developing a more comprehensive conclusion that addresses the prompt more directly and offers a broader perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to better signal the relationship between ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, and that the overall structure of the essay is clear and easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
enhancing
quality of human life
advancements
medicine
healthcare
scientific research
solving societal problems
improving living standards
global issues
climate change
food scarcity
technological advancements
limitations
negative consequences
ethical considerations
sustainability
environmental preservation

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer games. To what extend do you agree or disagree

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The efficientfunctioning o f society is based on rules and laws. Society would not function well if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?