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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows information about subway systems in three major European cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main information and making comparisons.

The chart below shows information about subway systems in three major European cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main information and making comparisons.
#information #subway #systems #three #european #cities #comparisons
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The table illustrates the information regarding with size of subway systems in London,
Paris
Use synonyms
 and
Moscow
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the London Underground has the longest track,
while
Linking Words
 the
Paris
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
 and
Moscow
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
 have the biggest number of stations and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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daily travellers respectively. The total
lenght
Correct your spelling
length
 of
track
Correct article usage
the track
show examples
 belonging to
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Underground is 408 km including underground and surface roads with
operation
Add an article
the operation
show examples
 of stations
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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275 units. Even though,
this
Linking Words
 city only has around 3 million passengers
for
Change preposition
apply
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every single day. If we compare with
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two cities,
this
Linking Words
 condition accounts for the lowest number of visitors.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
Paris
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
 has built 300 subway stations,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
Moscow
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
 only established 182
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 same facilities. Even though,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Moscow
Use synonyms
 has the widest amount of visitors followed by the
Paris
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
 with total passengers are 6.5 million and 4.5 million respectively.
Submitted by hikmanurdin04 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words paris, moscow, metro with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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