In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

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Many years ago, some
countries
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became developing
countries
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and started to build
malls
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to provide for society and any small market to help society easily buy all kinds of
things
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. Recently, local
markets
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have closed because many customers prefer large
malls
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and feel better than local
markets
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. I completely believe in
this
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positive development. There are many reasons why some
people
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have less money to buy all kinds of
things
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.
Malls
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provide all the equipment in
this
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modern world.
Due to
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the fact that
people
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look for a lot of
things
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, it is very easy to get anything they want. If compare local
markets
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, you do not have a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
items because local
markets
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is not provide
Change the verb form
do not provide
show examples
new equipment.
That is
Linking Words
why some
people
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are more like large
malls
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.
For example
Linking Words
, large
malls
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is
Change the verb form
are
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not just provided with
things
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like clothes, jewelry, food, etc.But in
this
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new era, large
malls
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also
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have kind
things
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for children.
Such
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as
tinme
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time
zone,
play ground
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playground
show examples
, it is very convenient. In spite of the above argument, many
people
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still go to local
markets
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because prices are higher than in large
malls
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.
Moreover
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,
countries
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can
also
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get taxed and collaborate with the owner market in large
malls
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, which could be more effective for
income
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low-income
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countries
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. As
weel
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well
show examples
as being
eficiens
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efficient
deficient
for
inhabitans
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inhabitants
can get many
job
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jobs
show examples
to be sales or
casier
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cashier
.
While
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,
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apply
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some large
malls
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also
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become popular
due to
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many good
facility
Change to a plural noun
facilities
show examples
and give reactions and
intresting
Correct your spelling
interest
to
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
ways to increase trading. In conclusion, large
markets
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in
this
Linking Words
era
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
important to provide all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
off
Replace the word
of
show examples
things
Use synonyms
become easy
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
other
people
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and it is more
comportable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
rather than local
malls
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could be more
efective
Correct your spelling
effective
and have lot of a
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
one of
ways
Add an article
the ways
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to make
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
interesting
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interested
show examples
and more convinience.

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Grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and ensuring sentences are well-constructed.
Lexical Resource
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay's vocabulary band score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument and ideas are elaborated effectively.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and maintains this stance throughout.
Content
Good attempt at comparing local markets and large malls, providing a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • community character
  • specialized products
  • homogenized
  • local economy
  • circulating
  • variety
  • convenient
  • social hubs
  • infrastructure
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • energy consumption
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