In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?
Many years ago, some
countries
became developing countries
and started to build malls
to provide for society and any small market to help society easily buy all kinds of things
. Recently, local markets
have closed because many customers prefer large malls
and feel better than local markets
. I completely believe in this
positive development.
There are many reasons why some people
have less money to buy all kinds of things
. Malls
provide all the equipment in this
modern world. Due to
the fact that people
look for a lot of things
, it is very easy to get anything they want. If compare local markets
, you do not have a lot
items because local Add the preposition
lot of
markets
is not provide
new equipment. Change the verb form
do not provide
That is
why some people
are more like large malls
. For example
, large malls
is
not just provided with Change the verb form
are
things
like clothes, jewelry, food, etc.But in this
new era, large malls
also
have kind things
for children. Such
as tinme
zone, Correct your spelling
time
play ground
, it is very convenient.
In spite of the above argument, many Correct your spelling
playground
people
still go to local markets
because prices are higher than in large malls
. Moreover
, countries
can also
get taxed and collaborate with the owner market in large malls
, which could be more effective for income
Correct your spelling
low-income
countries
. As weel
as being Correct your spelling
well
eficiens
for Correct your spelling
efficient
deficient
inhabitans
can get many Correct your spelling
inhabitants
job
to be sales or Change to a plural noun
jobs
casier
. Correct your spelling
cashier
While
,
some large Remove the comma
apply
malls
also
become popular due to
many good facility
and give reactions and Change to a plural noun
facilities
intresting
to Correct your spelling
interest
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
is
ways to increase trading.
In conclusion, large Correct subject-verb agreement
are
markets
in this
era very
important to provide all Add a missing verb
are very
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
off
Replace the word
of
things
become easy to
other Change preposition
for
people
and it is more comportable
rather than local Correct your spelling
comfortable
malls
it
could be more Correct pronoun usage
apply
efective
and have lot of a Correct your spelling
effective
discount
one of Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
ways
to make Add an article
the ways
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
interesting
and more convinience.Replace the word
interested
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Grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and ensuring sentences are well-constructed.
Lexical Resource
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay's vocabulary band score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument and ideas are elaborated effectively.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and maintains this stance throughout.
Content
Good attempt at comparing local markets and large malls, providing a balanced view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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