In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Many years ago, some
countries
became developing
countries
and started to build
malls
to provide for society and any small market to help society easily buy all kinds of
things
. Recently, local
markets
have closed because many customers prefer large
malls
and feel better than local
markets
. I completely believe in
this
positive development. There are many reasons why some
people
have less money to buy all kinds of
things
.
Malls
provide all the equipment in
this
modern world.
Due to
the fact that
people
look for a lot of
things
, it is very easy to get anything they want. If compare local
markets
, you do not have a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
items because local
markets
is not provide
Change the verb form
do not provide
show examples
new equipment.
That is
why some
people
are more like large
malls
.
For example
, large
malls
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not just provided with
things
like clothes, jewelry, food, etc.But in
this
new era, large
malls
also
have kind
things
for children.
Such
as
tinme
Correct your spelling
time
zone,
play ground
Correct your spelling
playground
show examples
, it is very convenient. In spite of the above argument, many
people
still go to local
markets
because prices are higher than in large
malls
.
Moreover
,
countries
can
also
get taxed and collaborate with the owner market in large
malls
, which could be more effective for
income
Correct your spelling
low-income
show examples
countries
. As
weel
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
as being
eficiens
Correct your spelling
efficient
deficient
for
inhabitans
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
can get many
job
Change to a plural noun
jobs
show examples
to be sales or
casier
Correct your spelling
cashier
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some large
malls
also
become popular
due to
many good
facility
Change to a plural noun
facilities
show examples
and give reactions and
intresting
Correct your spelling
interest
to
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
ways to increase trading. In conclusion, large
markets
in
this
era
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
important to provide all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
off
Replace the word
of
show examples
things
become easy
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
other
people
and it is more
comportable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
rather than local
malls
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could be more
efective
Correct your spelling
effective
and have lot of a
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
one of
ways
Add an article
the ways
show examples
to make
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
and more convinience.
Submitted by arniaqlina44 on

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Grammar
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Lexical Resource
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument and ideas are elaborated effectively.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and maintains this stance throughout.
Content
Good attempt at comparing local markets and large malls, providing a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • community character
  • specialized products
  • homogenized
  • local economy
  • circulating
  • variety
  • convenient
  • social hubs
  • infrastructure
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • energy consumption
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