In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

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Many years ago, some

countries

Use synonyms

became developing

countries

Use synonyms

and started to build

malls

Use synonyms

to provide for society and any small market to help society easily buy all kinds of

things

Use synonyms

. Recently, local

markets

Use synonyms

have closed because many customers prefer large

malls

Use synonyms

and feel better than local

markets

Use synonyms

. I completely believe in

this

Linking Words

positive development. There are many reasons why some

people

Use synonyms

have less money to buy all kinds of

things

Use synonyms

Malls

Use synonyms

provide all the equipment in

this

Linking Words

modern world.

Due to

Linking Words

the fact that

people

Use synonyms

look for a lot of

things

Use synonyms

, it is very easy to get anything they want. If compare local

markets

Use synonyms

, you do not have a

lot

Add the preposition

lot of

show examples

items because local

markets

Use synonyms

is not provide

Change the verb form

do not provide

show examples

new equipment.

That is

Linking Words

why some

people

Use synonyms

are more like large

malls

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, large

malls

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not just provided with

things

Use synonyms

like clothes, jewelry, food, etc.But in

this

Linking Words

new era, large

malls

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

have kind

things

Use synonyms

for children.

Such

Linking Words

tinme

Correct your spelling

time

zone,

play ground

Correct your spelling

playground

show examples

, it is very convenient. In spite of the above argument, many

people

Use synonyms

still go to local

markets

Use synonyms

because prices are higher than in large

malls

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

countries

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

get taxed and collaborate with the owner market in large

malls

Use synonyms

, which could be more effective for

income

Correct your spelling

low-income

show examples

countries

Use synonyms

. As

weel

Correct your spelling

well

show examples

as being

eficiens

Correct your spelling

efficient

deficient

for

inhabitans

Correct your spelling

inhabitants

can get many

job

Change to a plural noun

jobs

show examples

to be sales or

casier

Correct your spelling

cashier

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some large

malls

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

become popular

due to

Linking Words

many good

facility

Change to a plural noun

facilities

show examples

and give reactions and

intresting

Correct your spelling

interest

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

ways to increase trading. In conclusion, large

markets

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

era

very

Add a missing verb

are very

show examples

important to provide all

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

off

Replace the word

show examples

things

Use synonyms

become easy

Change preposition

for

show examples

other

people

Use synonyms

and it is more

comportable

Correct your spelling

comfortable

rather than local

malls

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

could be more

efective

Correct your spelling

effective

and have lot of a

discount

Fix the agreement mistake

discounts

show examples

one of

ways

Add an article

the ways

show examples

to make

pepole

Correct your spelling

people

interesting

Replace the word

interested

show examples

and more convinience.

arniaqlina44Sun Aug 25 2024

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Grammar

Work on improving grammatical accuracy and ensuring sentences are well-constructed.

Lexical Resource

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay's vocabulary band score.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument and ideas are elaborated effectively.

Task Response

The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and maintains this stance throughout.

Content

Good attempt at comparing local markets and large malls, providing a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

community character
specialized products
homogenized
local economy
circulating
variety
convenient
social hubs
infrastructure
traffic congestion
pollution
energy consumption

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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addiiton to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all thier time qnd attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other believes the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant areas of city and towns, while others say housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

The pie charts below how dangerous waste products are dealt with in three countries