Today people are using the things and throwing or replacing it with latest models or latest fashion. Do the advantages of throwing away society outweigh the disadvantages?
It is often argued that more and more married
couples
tend to choose a life without Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
Beeing
able to prioritize their Correct your spelling
Being
career
pathway and having more free Use synonyms
time
can be seen as benefits, Use synonyms
while
having nobody to look after them at a certain age and Linking Words
families
wanting to spend Use synonyms
time
with other Use synonyms
families
are considered drawbacks.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, one of the most commonly used Linking Words
advantage
is that individuals can focus more on their Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
career
Use synonyms
,
if they do not have Remove the comma
apply
children
. Use synonyms
This
is simply because having a child can be compared to a Linking Words
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
job. Use synonyms
Parents
need to care for their Use synonyms
children
by providing food, adequate housing and healthy food. Use synonyms
As a result
, many mothers and fathers struggle with Linking Words
this
and may not have enough Linking Words
time
to fully commit to their working Use synonyms
Use synonyms
career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Furthermore
, childless Linking Words
couples
have more free Use synonyms
time
, because they do not have to supervise any Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, they can spend more Linking Words
time
with their peers or pursue a hobby that turns out to be more Use synonyms
Use synonyms
time consuming
. Add a hyphen
time-consuming
For example
, Linking Words
couples
that decide to not have a child can go for drinks with their friends without having to worry about being at home at a specific Use synonyms
time
because their Use synonyms
children
can not be left alone at home.
Use synonyms
However
, one of the main drawbacks is that married Linking Words
couples
do not have anybody to look after them when they Use synonyms
will be
older. Wrong verb form
are
That is
to say, Linking Words
children
most commonly are the ones to care for their Use synonyms
parents
, because Use synonyms
that is
what they did when they were younger. Linking Words
Moreover
, Linking Words
families
consisting of Use synonyms
parents
and Use synonyms
children
preferably spend their leisure Use synonyms
time
with other Use synonyms
families
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, it might be challenging for them to find a suitable peer group. Linking Words
This
can lead to a lack of social interaction, which increases the risk of depression Linking Words
an
anxiety. Correct your spelling
and
For instance
, a lot of Linking Words
parents
organize play dates, where their Use synonyms
children
can play together, Use synonyms
while
mothers or fathers are able to have a chat.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
it might seem disadvantageous to have Linking Words
children
because they may not have anyone to take of them when they are old or Use synonyms
families
decide to do things with other Use synonyms
families
, there are definitely some advantages, Use synonyms
such
as better Linking Words
career
options and secured free Use synonyms
time
.Use synonyms
Submitted by philipp_becker on
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task achievement
Ensure that you address each part of the prompt thoroughly. Your essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages well, but expanding a bit more on each point could enhance your argument even further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs. However, try using a variety of linking phrases to make your transitions even smoother.
coherence cohesion
Some of your sentences are repetitive, especially when discussing the advantages or disadvantages. Vary your sentence structure to keep the reader engaged.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay, making it easy to follow your arguments.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, which strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?