IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A friend of yours has recently written to you asking for advice about a problem at work. You have had a similar problem at your workplace in the past. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, tell your friend how you feel about the problem explain how you faced a similar situation in the past suggest possible solutions to the problem

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Dear Angelo, I am so sorry, that you have to feel
this
Linking Words
 situation. I have had the same issue in the past at
work
Use synonyms
 . It was a terrible feeling,
however
Linking Words
, I can help you with how
this
Linking Words
 problem resulted. My story happened 6 months ago, I wanted to get a little bit more money on my salary. My boss was at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first time quite okay with my request and with my arguments,
however
Linking Words
, one and half months after my first interview with him, my salary was still the same. It was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
for me
very
Add an article
the very
a very
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 annoying situation and I asked him a second time and he was so rude to me, he told me a very bad word. I was so sad at
work
Use synonyms
 every day. I had to be strong and stay behind my opinion. I wasn´t to be at
work
Use synonyms
, I worked very badly, I couldn´t concentrate. I started to think about finishing my
work
Use synonyms
. ¨
However
Linking Words
, I had a big support
in
Change preposition
from
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 my second boss in the Czech Republic. I sent him an email with my arguments, the results of my job and
moreover
Linking Words
 my CV. So he called me and was very polite to me. At
last
Linking Words
, we made the agreement and my rate hour was accepted. My advice, stay strong and stay behind your opinion! I am happy for you, that
this
Linking Words
 situation happened well for you. Kind regards Andrea

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task achievement
Try to reduce small grammatical errors and awkward phrasing for a smoother read. For example, phrases like 'I wasn’t to be at work' could be improved to 'I didn’t enjoy being at work.'
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to enhance clarity. This will help in transitioning smoothly between points.
task achievement
You've done a good job of addressing all parts of the task by expressing your feelings about the problem, explaining a similar situation, and providing suggestions.
coherence and cohesion
Your greeting and closing are appropriate and polite, giving a personal touch to the letter.
coherence and cohesion
You’ve used distinct paragraphs to separate different parts of the story, which helps in understanding the flow of events.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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