In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or mall to do their shopping. Is this positive kr negative development?

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Introduction

In many parts of the world, many

people

Use synonyms

are going to the

mall

Use synonyms

for shopping. Meanwhile, it has a negative impact on local

shops

Use synonyms

and it has changed the way

people

Use synonyms

shopping

Wrong verb form

shop

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay believes shopping in the

mall

Use synonyms

is more effective. For the following reasons. Is

this

Linking Words

the most effective

ways

Fix the agreement mistake

way

show examples

Body paragraph 1

First of all, I believe that the

mall

Use synonyms

provides job opportunities for many

people

Use synonyms

in some places.

This

Linking Words

is a good solution to develop the city, and those

people

Use synonyms

can look for experience or make a network with each other.

For example

Linking Words

, at 1

mall

Use synonyms

or large shopping centre, there are types of work.

Besides

Linking Words

, it offers a wider range of products in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one place and gets good service.

Body paragraph 2

Secondly

Linking Words

, at

mall

Use synonyms

provides a place to relax and play. After bored from work a lot of

people

Use synonyms

need to go out and play with their children, and the

mall

Use synonyms

is a good place to quality time with family.

For example

Linking Words

, at the

mall

Use synonyms

there are playgrounds,

enjoy

Correct word choice

and enjoy

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a cup of coffee to tea, or

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

some favourite movie in the cinema.

Additionally

Linking Words

, we can buy some

dress

Fix the agreement mistake

dresses

show examples

, like clothes or pants, even

Correct word choice

if it

show examples

is more expensive but it has good quality.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, we can find local or international brands,

such

Linking Words

as Nike, Dior, etc. and

this

Linking Words

product is not available in the local or small

shops

Use synonyms

Conclusion

In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

a few claim there are negative impacts

for

Change preposition

show examples

local

shops

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, large shopping centres clearly

give

Verb problem

have

show examples

a positive impact on several

people

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Therefore

Linking Words

, the government should

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

give education to small

shops

Use synonyms

about the positive impact of the

mall

Use synonyms

Arni Aqlina

Aug 25, 2024

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task achievement

You addressed the task effectively, discussing both positive and negative impacts of malls on local shops; however, your arguments could be more balanced. Focus on providing a more thorough comparison between the advantages and disadvantages.

task achievement

Elaborate more on your specific examples. Some examples were a bit vague or lacked clarity. Concrete examples would make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between your points. While you have provided clear points, the transitions could be smoother. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your arguments. However, ensure your body paragraphs consistently support the thesis statement introduced in the beginning.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and presents a clear stance on the issue.

introduction conclusion present

You have provided a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your position.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or mall to do their shopping. Is this positive kr negative development?

Some people think that the government should pay for health care and education, but others believe it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that urban spaces should be used for parks rather than for housing. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The internet has become so efficient and popular that many people rely on it for learning. Some suggest that it could replace the use of books as the main source of knowledge for education. Do you support or oppose the opinion? Explain your position.