Some people believe that watching big events like sports and the Olympics on TV encourage adults to exercise regularly. While others disagree that there are other effective ways of getting them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is the subject of discussion

that

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apply

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whether sports events, whose people watch largely from all parts of the globe, increase the practice of exercise on a regular basis or

there

Correct word choice

whether there

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are better options. In my opinion, the population will not do more sport just by watching events and other ways are needed. Some others advocate that there are significantly better options to be implemented one of which is raising awareness about the importance of regular activity. In the 21st century, the luxury of technology has led to a decline in physical exertion.

Consequently

Linking Words

abundance

Add an article

an abundance

the abundance

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health

Use synonyms

issues

such

Linking Words

as obesity, cardiovascular diseases, and musculoskeletal problems are on

rise

Add an article

the rise

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. By giving convincing methodologies to urge the importance of exercise in adults, more and more individuals will participate in physical

recreations

Fix the agreement mistake

recreation

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. If we take a look at the biography of professional sportsmen,

it is clear that

Linking Words

improving their

overall

Linking Words

health

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

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had played a dominant role in starting their career at a young age.

Also

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, the youngsters who are already dealing with

health

Use synonyms

issues

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apply

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will take action to solve them all before getting worse.

By contrast

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, some argue that watching big events spontaneously

indulges

Verb problem

encourages

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a person to exercise regularly. With the availability of television in almost every household, most people get to watch sports matches and acquire a taste for them.

This

Linking Words

attraction eventually pushes a person to partake in a similar game because of the concept of idealization. Owing to

this

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fantasy, they will maintain an active lifestyle.

However

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, broadcasting interesting

sport

Change the noun form

sports

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programs, will not necessarily make someone

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apply

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partake in the same field

due to

Linking Words

a variety of reasons

such

Linking Words

as lack of equipment, monetary difficulties and geographical limitations. In conclusion,

although

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the

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apply

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media coverage does play a crucial role in inspiring young adults to pursue a sports career by showing them their success stories,

However

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, other effective ways

such

Linking Words

as publicity about the relation between

health

Use synonyms

and activity, are slightly better options to convey

about

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apply

show examples

athletic life.

ronakdorriiSun Aug 25 2024

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task response

The essay addresses both views and provides an opinion. However, it could be improved by explicitly stating the opinion in the introduction and conclusion for better clarity.

task response

The essay could use more specific and relevant examples to support its points. Where possible, illustrate points with concrete examples or case studies.

coherence and cohesion

There are some grammatical issues and awkward sentence structures. Proofread carefully to ensure clarity and correctness. For example, consider revising 'whose people watch largely from all parts of the globe' to something more natural like 'which attract viewers from all over the globe.'

coherence and cohesion

While the essay is generally coherent, linking words and phrases could be used more effectively to ensure smooth transitions between points and paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task response

Both views are discussed, which aligns with the task requirements.

coherence and cohesion

The arguments are logically structured, and each paragraph has a distinct main idea.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Some people believe that watching big events like sports and the Olympics on TV encourage adults to exercise regularly. While others disagree that there are other effective ways of getting them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

In the future, all cars, buses, and rickshaws will be driverless. The only people traveling in these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.