IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people leave the countryside for the greater opportunities which are offered by cities. This move is not without disadvantages for both people and the environment. What are some benefits and drawbacks of urbanization?

#people #countryside #opportunities #cities #move #environment #urbanization
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that an increased
number
Use synonyms
 of people migrate from rural areas to
cities
Use synonyms
 in pursuit of a better living. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss some of the merits and downsides attributed to
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. There are a
number
Use synonyms
 of advantages attributed to urban migration.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the rise in urban population can augment the workforce in society by increasing the
number
Use synonyms
 of workers.
In addition
Linking Words
, people who move to major
cities
Use synonyms
 might find it easier to get a job, owing to the fact that
cities
Use synonyms
 have a more significant
number
Use synonyms
 of job opportunities.
Consequently
Linking Words
, unemployment figures will drop significantly on a national level.
Additionally
Linking Words
, people living in the countryside, often tend to be more aware of the original culture of the country and connected to it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, by integrating with urban residents, cultural heritage could be imported into main
cities
Use synonyms
 and introduced to its locals.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are a few drawbacks associated with the increased influx of suburbans to main
cities
Use synonyms
. The detrimental effect on the environment is one of the major examples to highlight. Overpopulation would likely result in more cars and the use of public transport in
cities
Use synonyms
, which lead to an increased level of pollution and
therefore
Linking Words
 damage the environment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the rise in urban migration will put a strain on infrastructures and negatively impact the quality of essential services
such
Linking Words
 as health care and waste collection.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend can lead to rural depopulation, leading to a lack of human resources and basic services in suburbs and villages. In conclusion, urban migration can have a positive influence on society.
However
Linking Words
, there a are few crucial drawbacks that cannot be ignored.
Submitted by ramtariqh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Support your arguments with specific examples or data to make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and smooth transitions between ideas within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-organized and logically follow from one another.
task achievement
The task is fully addressed with both the benefits and drawbacks of urbanization being discussed.
task achievement
Ideas are generally clear and comprehensive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • employment prospects
  • quality of life
  • cultural exposure
  • environmental degradation
  • overcrowding
  • pollution
  • strain on resources
  • cost of living
  • financial benefits
  • rural communities
  • local economies
  • migration
  • essential services
What to do next:
Look at other essays: