IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people leave the countryside for the greater opportunities which are offered by cities. This move is not without disadvantages for both people and the environment. What are some benefits and drawbacks of urbanization?

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It is true that an increased
number
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 of people migrate from rural areas to
cities
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 in pursuit of a better living. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss some of the merits and downsides attributed to
this
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 phenomenon. There are a
number
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 of advantages attributed to urban migration.
Firstly
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, the rise in urban population can augment the workforce in society by increasing the
number
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 of workers.
In addition
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, people who move to major
cities
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 might find it easier to get a job, owing to the fact that
cities
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 have a more significant
number
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 of job opportunities.
Consequently
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, unemployment figures will drop significantly on a national level.
Additionally
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, people living in the countryside, often tend to be more aware of the original culture of the country and connected to it.
Therefore
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, by integrating with urban residents, cultural heritage could be imported into main
cities
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 and introduced to its locals.
On the other hand
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, there are a few drawbacks associated with the increased influx of suburbans to main
cities
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. The detrimental effect on the environment is one of the major examples to highlight. Overpopulation would likely result in more cars and the use of public transport in
cities
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, which lead to an increased level of pollution and
therefore
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 damage the environment.
Furthermore
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, the rise in urban migration will put a strain on infrastructures and negatively impact the quality of essential services
such
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 as health care and waste collection.
Moreover
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,
this
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 trend can lead to rural depopulation, leading to a lack of human resources and basic services in suburbs and villages. In conclusion, urban migration can have a positive influence on society.
However
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, there a are few crucial drawbacks that cannot be ignored.

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task achievement
Support your arguments with specific examples or data to make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and smooth transitions between ideas within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-organized and logically follow from one another.
task achievement
The task is fully addressed with both the benefits and drawbacks of urbanization being discussed.
task achievement
Ideas are generally clear and comprehensive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • employment prospects
  • quality of life
  • cultural exposure
  • environmental degradation
  • overcrowding
  • pollution
  • strain on resources
  • cost of living
  • financial benefits
  • rural communities
  • local economies
  • migration
  • essential services
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