Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money, government must investment this money in public services. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

To ensure the country's quality, the authority must invest in some sectors.
While
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some societies have opinions that the
government
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must prioritize public service as its main statement, I strongly believe that the two aspects are equally important. On the one hand, being concerned about music and theatre will give a better human quality.
Firstly
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, with the availability of several places focused on the arts,
people
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will enjoy
life
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in a city. Some places, like the theatre, for several
people
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, are a kind of place that can release stress.
As a result
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, it will give good results for their mental
health
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.
Secondly
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, art is one of the work categories that can be the main job of
people
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. The
government
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needs to ensure
this
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category is suit for
people
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's needs for money, if they are a painter,
for example
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. In some developed
countries
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,
people
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with art as their main job have a better
life
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because the
government
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pays them with good price for the artist.
On the other hand
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, service to the public is important for the
countries
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.
Firstly
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, it will enable
people
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to become healthy enough in
life
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without much concern about the money they must pay if they have a
health
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problem. They can ensure their
health
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with free medical insurance. Some
countries
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have implemented
this
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procedure for hospital fees. Some
countries
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don't only focus on body
health
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insurance, but
also
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on mental
health
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insurance.
Furthermore
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, with the high tendency of
life
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,
countries
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must make sure the facilities are enough for them to live, one of which is good public transport. Without any notice about transport from the
government
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,
people
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would find it hard to get on time in their office and the risk of layoff is high.
Finally
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, human
life
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in a country is part of the
government
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's responsibility.
While
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public transport is an essential factor, the importance of the arts is the same as public services.

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introduction
Make sure to clearly summarize your main points in the introduction. This will help the reader understand your position from the start.
coherence
Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas better. For example, use 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to guide the reader through your argument.
examples
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, especially about the impact of arts and public services. This will make your arguments stronger.
argument
You presented a clear argument that both arts and public services are important, which is a balanced view.
support
You provided good reasons for both sides of the discussion, which shows you understand the topic well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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