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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource, while others it should not be regulated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #control #water #resource
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Due to
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 rapid development, the supply of the freshwater is almost out of resource. Many
people
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 argue that the government should regulate and strictly control the supply of fresh
water
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,
conversely
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, some
people
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 think there should be no limitation.
According to
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 me, both opinions are valid,as urban
people
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 will have easy access to fresh
water
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,
while
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 rural
people
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 only depend on freshwater
water
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 provided by authorities. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss my perspective for both points with a legit reason.
Firstly
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, if we consider a long-term solution, it is necessary for the government to limit the
use
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 of
water
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.
According to
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 accounts, there are more droughts and climate change is playing a major role.
Additionally
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, overpopulation leads to more serious problems, as in summer
water
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use
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 soars up and inadequate
water
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 supply.
Therefore
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, if government can control the
water
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 supply, it can mitigate the deficiency of
water
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. For instance, authorities can mandate the
use
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 of
water
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 in each industry, especially factories, which
use
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 enormous amounts of
water
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 for their production.
On the other hand
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, if we think of the social aspect, the regulation will be considered as inequality for citizens' rights.
People
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 pay taxes for a steady supply of
water
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, especially companies that pay double the amount of taxes to get an adequate amount of
water
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. If
this
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 regulation is executed,
this
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 rule will be unbearable for rural
people
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, as it is not convenient for them to get fresh aqua compared to the
people
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 dwelling in the cities. To illustrate,
people
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 in the urban areas have easy access to bottled
water
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 at any convenience store, which is too ubiquitous in the region,
whereas
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, there is even a lack of stores in the countryside. To elucidate, it is inevitable consequence to humans only focus on the development of the country,
instead
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 of considering the ecosystem.
Although
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 the regulation can be unfair to some communities, we should take action to cease and prevent our world from getting worse.
Submitted by mubassirakolia78 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss, without redundancy. It might help to refine your thesis statement and overall structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. The essay could benefit from more detailed evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph consistently revolves around a clear main idea, with supportive points and examples that reinforce it.
task achievement
You have effectively discussed both viewpoints regarding the regulation of fresh water supply, showing a balanced understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly wraps up the essay, summarizing the key points and presenting a clear stance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resource
  • manage responsibly
  • shortages
  • environmental impact
  • over-extraction
  • wastage
  • quotas
  • pricing structures
  • efficient use
  • bureaucratic red tape
  • market mechanisms
  • competition, innovation, and investment
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