IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #harbour #summerise #information #features #comparisons
The maps illustrate Porth Harbour's past and present views.
Overall
, they have added new features to the present view
such
 as café, shops and hotels.
Moreover
, they provide extra showers and toilets for the visitors.
According to
 the past view, on the west side, they have provided a main road, which gave access to car parks and a lifeboat as well. There was a public beach given for people and it was situated on the north side.
Furthermore
, there was a castle provided but it was disused. In the present view, the provided castle was replaced by a hotel and the public beach was converted into a private beach. there is a sub-road giving access to the newly built hotel and they provide cafes and shops for the visitors. In comparison with the year 2000, fishing boats and private yachts were exchanged their places. Meanwhile, they have given two spaces for docks.
Additionally
, the shower and toilets are
also
 provided as two.
Submitted by shruthiudhai7 on

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task achievement
While the main points are summarized and comparisons are made, there is room for improvement in providing a more detailed and nuanced discussion of the changes. Consider elaborating on the significance and impact of the developments more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is logical and the introduction and conclusion are present, which is good. However, the essay could benefit from more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
There's a minor inconsistency in the essay about the locations of some features. Make sure to double-check for accuracy to improve clarity, although small inaccuracies won't substantially affect the overall coherence.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies key changes and makes relevant comparisons between the two time periods.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay, including an introduction and conclusion, adds to the coherence of the response.
task achievement
Use of specific examples from the maps, such as the mention of adding cafes and changing the public beach to a private beach, helps in making the essay more concrete and understandable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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