In the present day, social media plays an important role in young people’s lives. Many people believe that it enhances creativity and global awareness, while others argue it could negatively impact their behaviour and attitudes.

#media #role #people’s #lives #people #creativity #awareness #impact #behaviour #attitudes

In the present day, social

media

plays an important role in young people’s lives. Many people believe that it enhances creativity and global awareness,

while

others argue it could negatively impact their behaviour and attitudes. In the following paragraphs, both points of view will be discussed in detail before a conclusion is reached. On the one hand, there are many advantages which social

media

provides. The significant one among them is creativity. The internet has vast amounts of interesting information for learning and inspiration, as it gives digital space for sharing ideas and opinions. Nowadays, every aspect of news is present on social

media

such

as economy, financial, business, politics, civic, science and environment,

this

literacy news promotes global awareness for

teenagers

in every home.

Additionally

media

platform provides

teenagers

with avenues to express themself artistically and innovatively by creating and sharing videos on YouTube,

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

or Instagram,

this

leads to improved positive self-esteem.

On the other hand

this

platform can

also

have adverse effects on young people. Social

media

addiction and excessive screen time can lead to social avoidance and decrease communication skills in real life.

Moreover

, online bullying is a major issue causing potential drawbacks for

teenagers

as a result

of depression and mental health issues. Lack of cybersecurity can put personal information or individual identity at risk. In conclusion,

while

social

media

offers various advantages,

such

as creativity, knowledge and self-esteem, it is important to consider the potential negative impacts on children.

Therefore

, parents should take responsibility for restricting screen time and carefully select content for their children. The government

also

has to take action in the punishment of cybercrime and cyberbullying.

This

will help ensure

teenagers

to take

Verb problem

apply

show examples

maximize profits from social

media

and mitigate adverse outcomes.

Submitted by sippakorn.wet on Sun Aug 25 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to include more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments. This can help make your essay more convincing and well-supported.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using transition words and phrases can help make your writing smoother and more coherent.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to sentence structure and variety to make your essay more engaging. Avoid repetitive phrases and aim for more sophisticated vocabulary.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear response to the prompt, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of social media.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good summary of the main points.

task achievement

You have made a good effort to explore different aspects of social media's impact, like creativity, global awareness, and potential negative effects.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the present day, social media plays an important role in young people’s lives. Many people believe that it enhances creativity and global awareness, while others argue it could negatively impact their behaviour and attitudes.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?