IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you this it is a positive or negative development?

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It is often said that the advertising of the current businesses highlights how their products are new. In my view, it is primarily caused by consumer preferences. I mostly believe it is a negative development. The most significant cause is that most people prefer a new product at the moment, especially in the younger generation.
Hence
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, companies cannot help but abide by the demand.
However
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, since the global environment is more and more serious nowadays, it will cause a negative impact on the earth in terms of global warming by creating a new item. Another reason is that making new
items
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 requires loads of resources, so companies will probably call for more human resources or money. The problem with
this
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 is that the resources are finite and we need extra effort in order to create new
items
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.
However
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, as there is concern about global warming, it would be a great way to reuse
items
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instead
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 of new ones.
On the other hand
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, there might be some ideas for one of those who like brand new
items
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.
For example
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, when individuals purchase a new item, it might make individuals feel happy,
fulfilled
Correct word choice
and fulfilled
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, or perhaps contribute to recovering stress, so that the tendency might work in a positive way, as the quality of life of people can be boosted.
However
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, saving planets should be a more prioritised thing. In conclusion,
although
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 there is a possibility to increase a sense of happiness, people should curb individual desire to save our planet.
Consequently
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, companies will not need to follow the demand, and we will be able to save our planet.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, it would benefit from the use of more specific examples to better illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Add more cohesive devices and linking words to strengthen the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay more cohesive.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are thoroughly supported with details and explanations. Although you provide some justification, adding more depth will make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, which makes it easy to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You provide a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay effectively.
task achievement
Your reasons for both the positive and negative aspects of emphasizing new products in advertising are clearly stated, showing a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
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