IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

As the political and social conditions around the world are transforming, the trend of immigration is increasing day by day. What do you think what can be positive and negative impact of immigration?

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When it comes to immigration, it is not uncommon that an increasing number of foreign workers leave for other nations to make a living nowadays. Personally, I consider
this
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 phenomenon may have a considerable impact on society and
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 essay will delve into their pros and cons respectively. On the one hand, it goes without saying that numerous immigrants can lead to notable growth in the economic aspect.
In other words
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, most foreign employees can provide more labour force, resulting in enhancing productivity and competitiveness in the market.
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, they
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 contribute to cultural diversity and give local citizens additional opportunities to integrate into various nationalities.
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, exotic cuisines have been becoming prevalent and everyone can experience these distinctive delicacies;
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, individuals can learn some decent notion of foreigners to improve their behaviour,
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 as Japanese almost punctual and polite which made them have a prominent reputation around the world.
On the other hand
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, it is true that excessive immigration may bring about some adverse influence on society. First of all, redundant foreigners may take jobs that should go to indigenous people originally, causing the rising unemployment rate indirectly.
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 to say, if a colossal amount of foreign employees enter the workplace, their existence is likely to threaten the natives when looking for a stable occupation.
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, employers may exploit them by offering low salaries with extensive hours; unfortunately, a majority of labourers have no choice but to work hard and endure these unfair treatments in order to earn abundant money to survive. In conclusion, both sides have merits and shortcomings but I strongly believe that these foreign workers are indispensable and governments must set out appropriate policies to protect them.

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task achievement
Try to further develop your arguments with more specific examples for a stronger support.
coherence cohesion
Work on smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay covers both positive and negative impacts of immigration comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-framed and effectively encapsulate the main points of the essay.
relevant specific examples
The use of examples such as cultural integration and personal behavior improvement strengthens the arguments.
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