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Band 1

Parents should spend more time with their children helping them with their homework. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #time #children #homework
Parents
 must
split
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 more
time
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
children
assist
Fix the infinitive
to assist
show examples
 them with their
homework
. I believe that it is lucrative
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 stay
contact
Change preposition
in contact
show examples
 and easy to learn.
Firstly
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 more
time
 with
children
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 familial
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. Exactly
children
 do not
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
rebundancy
Correct your spelling
redundancy
 in the family.If
parents
 spend more
time
 with their
children
 helping them with their
homework
,
children
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 better than
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
 and
children
's love rises for family.
Secondly
 eases to learn.
Children
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
 learn when
parents
 assist
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
homework
.
Children
 can perceive even intangible things
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 help.
Children
are doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 geometry together
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
parents
 and their
parents
 will teach
children
 how to resolve questions when
children
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 solve questions.
To conclude
parents
 should spend
time
to help
Change the verb form
helping
show examples
 their
children
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
homework
. I claim that it is buoyancy for familial
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 and
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 growth.
Submitted by nursultonergashov19 on

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task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific benefits such as improved academic performance or better emotional well-being.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. For example, instead of 'Parents must split more time to their children assist them with their homework,' you could say, 'Parents should allocate more time to assist their children with their homework.'
coherence cohesion
Make sure to introduce the main points more clearly in the introduction. Also, strengthen the conclusion by summarizing your main points more effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and makes a clear argument. You clearly believe that parents spending more time helping with homework is beneficial.
coherence cohesion
You have a structured approach with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This gives a logical flow to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • parental involvement
  • academic development
  • parent-child relationship
  • supported and encouraged
  • confidence and independence
  • educational strategies
  • autonomous learning
  • foster a love for learning
  • tailored interventions
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