IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping.

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Today, more and more people
are prefer
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
 go to shopping to
a large shopping centers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a large shopping center
large shopping centers
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 rather than to a small
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
. Is
this
Linking Words
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 development? Some folks claim that supermarket takes the local
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
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some
district
Fix the agreement mistake
districts
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it is better to shop
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 than
local
Change preposition
in local
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
, for the following reasons.
Shopping
Add an article
The shopping
show examples
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is more convenient rather than shopping in local
shops
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, shopping
Use synonyms
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
offering
Wrong verb form
offer
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 a wider range of
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 than
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local
shops
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 have a lot of
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
 on the part of items and
also
Linking Words
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some feedback if we
purchased
Wrong verb form
purchase
show examples
 above one hundred thousand
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the shopping
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 more comfortable because the shopping
Add a missing verb
is support
show examples
support
Replace the word
supported
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 by security in owing to
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 when
their
Change the pronoun
they
show examples
visited
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 on
shopping
Add an article
the shopping
show examples
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, there are
cctv
Correct your spelling
CCTV
 on the side corner of the wall
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the location.
As well as
Linking Words
 being comfortable, shopping
Use synonyms
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
 have parking
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
 for
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 and motor cycle
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 make the
Use synonyms
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enjoyable when they
went
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to
shopping
Correct article usage
the shopping
show examples
 market.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it more easier to search
some
Change preposition
for some
show examples
 items
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
because
show examples
 to shopping
Use synonyms
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
 provide numerous employees in order to give services
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors when someone
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not know where the
product
Use synonyms
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are provides of machines to check
price
Add an article
the price
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 of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the product
a product
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
for instance
Linking Words
 the
customer
Use synonyms
 can check
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
 of the
product
Use synonyms
 before they go to pay to cashier.
Additionally
Linking Words
, shopping
Use synonyms
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
attract
Replace the word
attractive
show examples
 because
available
Change preposition
of available
show examples
lift
Fix the agreement mistake
lifts
show examples
 and
escalator
Fix the agreement mistake
escalators
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can be helpfully
Use synonyms
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
move
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one to
other market
Change the wording
another market
other markets
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
shopping
Add an article
the shopping
show examples
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. In conclusion, taking all the
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 into account,
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 shop is out of date in
this
Linking Words
 modern era because replaced by shopping
Use synonyms
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 more
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
 and provide a lot of facilities. In the future most people will eventually turn to shopping
Use synonyms
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
 and local
shops
Use synonyms
 will become a
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
 of the past.

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task achievement
Consider refining your argument to provide a more balanced view. Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of shopping centers compared to local shops.
task achievement
A clearer thesis statement in your introduction and conclusion would help to strengthen your essay by summarizing your main points more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure all main points are clearly supported with specific examples. Some points lacked depth and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph organization to improve logical flow. Some transitions between points are abrupt.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to create smoother coherence between sections. This will help your essay flow better from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Focus on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
You provide multiple reasons to support your point of view, and your ideas are generally relevant to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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