In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping.
Today, more and more people
are prefer
go to shopping to Change the verb form
prefer
a large shopping centers
rather than to a small Correct the article-noun agreement
a large shopping center
large shopping centers
one
. Is Fix the agreement mistake
ones
this
positive
development? Some folks claim that supermarket takes the local Correct article usage
a positive
economic
Replace the word
economy
on
Change preposition
in
the
some Remove the article
apply
district
. Fix the agreement mistake
districts
However
, it is better to shop center
than Change the spelling
centre
local
Change preposition
in local
shops
, for the following reasons.
Shopping
Add an article
The shopping
center
is more convenient rather than shopping in local Change the spelling
centre
shops
. Firstly
, shopping center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
offering
a wider range of Wrong verb form
offer
product
than Fix the agreement mistake
products
in
local Change preposition
apply
shops
. Secondly
, in
shopping Change preposition
apply
center
have a lot of Change the spelling
centre
discount
on the part of items and Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
also
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
by
some feedback if we Change preposition
apply
purchased
above one hundred thousand Wrong verb form
purchase
on
the shopping Change preposition
at
center
. Change the spelling
centre
In addition
, it is also
more comfortable because the shopping Add a missing verb
is support
support
by security in owing to Replace the word
supported
safe
the Replace the word
save
customer
when Fix the agreement mistake
customers
their
Change the pronoun
they
visited
on Wrong verb form
visit
shopping
Add an article
the shopping
center
. Change the spelling
centre
Hence
, there are cctv
on the side corner of the wall Correct your spelling
CCTV
on
the location.
Change preposition
of
As well as
being comfortable, shopping center
have parking Fix the agreement mistake
centers
space
for Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
vehicle
and motor cycle Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
it
make the Correct pronoun usage
which
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
being
enjoyable when they Verb problem
apply
went
to Wrong verb form
go
shopping
market. Correct article usage
the shopping
Moreover
, it more easier to search some
items Change preposition
for some
due
to shopping Change preposition
because
center
provide numerous employees in order to give services Fix the agreement mistake
centers
of
Change preposition
to
the
visitors when someone Correct article usage
apply
do
not know where the Change the verb form
does
product
.
Add a missing verb
is.
Furthermore
, there are provides of machines to check price
of Add an article
the price
Add an article
the product
a product
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
for instance
the customer
can check price
of the Add an article
the price
product
before they go to pay to cashier. Additionally
, shopping center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
more
Add a missing verb
are more
attract
because Replace the word
attractive
available
Change preposition
of available
lift
and Fix the agreement mistake
lifts
escalator
Fix the agreement mistake
escalators
it
can be helpfully Correct pronoun usage
which
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
to
move Fix the infinitive
apply
on
Change preposition
from
the
one to Correct article usage
apply
other market
Change the wording
another market
other markets
on
Change preposition
in
shopping
Add an article
the shopping
center
.
In conclusion, taking all the Change the spelling
centre
result
into account, Fix the agreement mistake
results
local
shop is out of date in Add an article
the local
this
modern era because replaced by shopping center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
due to
more convenient
and provide a lot of facilities. In the future most people will eventually turn to shopping Replace the word
convenience
center
and local Fix the agreement mistake
centers
shops
will become a think
of the past.Correct your spelling
thing
Submitted by arniaqlina44 on
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task achievement
Consider refining your argument to provide a more balanced view. Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of shopping centers compared to local shops.
task achievement
A clearer thesis statement in your introduction and conclusion would help to strengthen your essay by summarizing your main points more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure all main points are clearly supported with specific examples. Some points lacked depth and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph organization to improve logical flow. Some transitions between points are abrupt.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to create smoother coherence between sections. This will help your essay flow better from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Focus on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
You provide multiple reasons to support your point of view, and your ideas are generally relevant to the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example