Today more and more rourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult,such as the Sahara desert or the antartics. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such palces?

Recently,
the
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a
show examples
number of tourists keep growing are visiting places where conditions are extreme,
such
as the Sahara desert or the
antartics
Correct your spelling
antarctic
antics
.
this
essay Will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the benefits and drawbacks of visiting difficult
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
such
as
antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
.
Antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of
coldest
Add an article
the coldest
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
in the world.
only
Capitalize word
Only
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a few people live there,
due to
the
wether
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weather
show examples
are
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is
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extreme.
firstly
,the benefits
with live
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of living
show examples
in
antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
is
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are
show examples
,
we
Correct word choice
that we
show examples
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can avoid crowded and traffic
jam
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jams
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,
while
the
condition
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conditions
show examples
while
the condition not really good for the
visitor
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visitors
show examples
,
However
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However,
show examples
we can use thick
hacker
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hackers
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from very extreme
wether
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weather
show examples
,
beside
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besides
show examples
that,
for
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to
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prevent
hyportemia
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hyperemia
hypothermia
,we can
cooking
Wrong verb form
cook
show examples
warm
food
such
as soup and noodle.we can see the stunning views from
antartics
Correct your spelling
the antics
at night,there
also
we can see Aurora at midnight.
In addition
,
effect
Correct article usage
the effect
show examples
the
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of the
show examples
wether
from
antartics
Correct your spelling
antarctic
Antarctica
not really good for our
healt
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health
,
particullary
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particularly
our
lung
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lungs
show examples
,caused
bye
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by
show examples
extreme
wether
Correct your spelling
weather
show examples
in
antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
.
beside
Change preposition
Besides
show examples
that,
food
ingredients are very difficult to find,
due to
the small number of
food
tradders
Correct your spelling
traders
there,so we just can eat
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
is what it is.the bad impact
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
is not only that,and still a lot of we must anticipation, especially at night,due
tue
Correct your spelling
to
storm
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storms
show examples
coming every night in
antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
,and we should prepare
our self
Correct your spelling
ourselves
show examples
from
storm
Add an article
the storm
a storm
show examples
by sheltering indoors and providing
food
to survive the storm,
that is
drawbacks from
antartics
Correct your spelling
antarctic
Antarctica
if tourists want to
visited
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visit
show examples
. In conclusion,if the tourists want to
going
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go
show examples
to
antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
,they should
preparing
Change the verb form
prepare
be preparing
show examples
equipment, ingredients
food
,
healthy
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health
show examples
,and mental for the extreme 
wether
Correct your spelling
weather
show examples
 there.
Submitted by arniaqlina44 on

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introduction
The introduction should clearly state the topic and purpose of the essay. Consider rephrasing the first sentence to make it clearer. For example, 'Recently, the number of tourists visiting extreme conditions like the Sahara Desert or Antarctica has been growing.'
cohesion
Use appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. For example, you might use 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'In addition' to introduce new points.
coherence
Be more consistent in maintaining a clear structure throughout the essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by relevant details and examples.
language use
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your argument more compelling and engaging.
task achievement
The essay correctly identifies and addresses both the benefits and drawbacks of visiting places like Antarctica.
conclusion
The conclusion appropriately summarizes the main points and offers a recommendation for tourists.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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