Today more and more rourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult,such as the Sahara desert or the antartics. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such palces?
Recently,
the
number of tourists keep growing are visiting places where conditions are extreme,Correct article usage
a
such
as the Sahara desert or the Linking Words
Use synonyms
antartics
.Correct your spelling
antarctic
antics
this
essay Will discuss Linking Words
about
the benefits and drawbacks of visiting difficult Remove the preposition
apply
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
such
as Linking Words
Use synonyms
antartics
.
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
Use synonyms
Antartics
is Correct your spelling
Antarctica
the
one of Correct article usage
apply
coldest
Add an article
the coldest
place
in the world.Fix the agreement mistake
places
only
a few people live there,Capitalize word
Only
due to
the Linking Words
Use synonyms
wether
Correct your spelling
weather
are
extreme.Change the verb form
is
firstly
,the benefits Linking Words
with live
in Change preposition
of living
Use synonyms
antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
is
,Correct subject-verb agreement
are
we
Correct word choice
that we
are
can avoid crowded and traffic Verb problem
apply
jam
,Fix the agreement mistake
jams
while
the Linking Words
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
while
the condition not really good for the Linking Words
visitor
,Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
Linking Words
However
we can use thick Add the comma(s)
However,
hacker
from very extreme Fix the agreement mistake
hackers
Use synonyms
wether
,Correct your spelling
weather
beside
that,Replace the word
besides
for
prevent Change preposition
to
hyportemia
,we can Correct your spelling
hyperemia
hypothermia
cooking
warm Wrong verb form
cook
food
Use synonyms
such
as soup and noodle.we can see the stunning views from Linking Words
Use synonyms
antartics
at night,there Correct your spelling
the antics
also
we can see Aurora at midnight.
Linking Words
In addition
,Linking Words
effect
Correct article usage
the effect
the
Change preposition
of the
wether
from Use synonyms
Use synonyms
antartics
not really good for our Correct your spelling
antarctic
Antarctica
healt
,Correct your spelling
health
particullary
our Correct your spelling
particularly
lung
,caused Fix the agreement mistake
lungs
bye
extreme Correct your spelling
by
Use synonyms
wether
in Correct your spelling
weather
Use synonyms
antartics
.Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
beside
that,Change preposition
Besides
food
ingredients are very difficult to find,Use synonyms
due to
the small number of Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
tradders
there,so we just can eat Correct your spelling
traders
wich
is what it is.the bad impact Correct your spelling
which
from
Change preposition
of
Use synonyms
antartics
is not only that,and still a lot of we must anticipation, especially at night,due Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
tue
Correct your spelling
to
storm
coming every night in Fix the agreement mistake
storms
Use synonyms
antartics
,and we should prepare Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
our self
from Correct your spelling
ourselves
storm
by sheltering indoors and providing Add an article
the storm
a storm
food
to survive the storm,Use synonyms
that is
drawbacks from Linking Words
Use synonyms
antartics
if tourists want to Correct your spelling
antarctic
Antarctica
visited
.
In conclusion,if the tourists want to Change the verb
visit
going
to Change the verb form
go
Use synonyms
antartics
,they should Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
preparing
equipment, ingredients Change the verb form
prepare
be preparing
food
,Use synonyms
healthy
,and mental for the extreme Replace the word
health
Use synonyms
wether
there.Correct your spelling
weather
Submitted by arniaqlina44 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction
The introduction should clearly state the topic and purpose of the essay. Consider rephrasing the first sentence to make it clearer. For example, 'Recently, the number of tourists visiting extreme conditions like the Sahara Desert or Antarctica has been growing.'
cohesion
Use appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. For example, you might use 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'In addition' to introduce new points.
coherence
Be more consistent in maintaining a clear structure throughout the essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by relevant details and examples.
language use
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your argument more compelling and engaging.
task achievement
The essay correctly identifies and addresses both the benefits and drawbacks of visiting places like Antarctica.
conclusion
The conclusion appropriately summarizes the main points and offers a recommendation for tourists.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?