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Today more and more rourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult,such as the Sahara desert or the antartics. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such palces?

#rourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antartics #tourists #visit #palces
Recently,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 number of tourists keep growing are visiting places where conditions are extreme,
such
 as the Sahara desert or the
antartics
Correct your spelling
antarctic
antics
.
this
 essay Will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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the benefits and drawbacks of visiting difficult
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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such
 as
antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
.
Antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one of
coldest
Add an article
the coldest
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place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 in the world.
only
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Only
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 a few people live there,
due to
 the
wether
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weather
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are
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is
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 extreme.
firstly
,the benefits
with live
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of living
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 in
antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
is
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are
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,
we
Correct word choice
that we
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are
Verb problem
apply
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can avoid crowded and traffic
jam
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jams
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,
while
 the
condition
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conditions
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while
 the condition not really good for the
visitor
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visitors
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,
However
Add the comma(s)
However,
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 we can use thick
hacker
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hackers
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 from very extreme
wether
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weather
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,
beside
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besides
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 that,
for
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to
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 prevent
hyportemia
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hyperemia
hypothermia
,we can
cooking
Wrong verb form
cook
show examples
 warm
food
such
 as soup and noodle.we can see the stunning views from
antartics
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the antics
 at night,there
also
 we can see Aurora at midnight.
In addition
,
effect
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the effect
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the
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of the
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wether
 from
antartics
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antarctic
Antarctica
 not really good for our
healt
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health
,
particullary
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particularly
 our
lung
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lungs
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,caused
bye
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by
show examples
 extreme
wether
Correct your spelling
weather
show examples
 in
antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
.
beside
Change preposition
Besides
show examples
 that,
food
 ingredients are very difficult to find,
due to
 the small number of
food
tradders
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traders
 there,so we just can eat
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is what it is.the bad impact
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
 is not only that,and still a lot of we must anticipation, especially at night,due
tue
Correct your spelling
to
storm
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storms
show examples
 coming every night in
antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
,and we should prepare
our self
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ourselves
show examples
 from
storm
Add an article
the storm
a storm
show examples
 by sheltering indoors and providing
food
 to survive the storm,
that is
 drawbacks from
antartics
Correct your spelling
antarctic
Antarctica
 if tourists want to
visited
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visit
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. In conclusion,if the tourists want to
going
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go
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 to
antartics
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
antarctic
,they should
preparing
Change the verb form
prepare
be preparing
show examples
 equipment, ingredients
food
,
healthy
Replace the word
health
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,and mental for the extreme 
wether
Correct your spelling
weather
show examples
 there.
Submitted by arniaqlina44 on

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introduction
The introduction should clearly state the topic and purpose of the essay. Consider rephrasing the first sentence to make it clearer. For example, 'Recently, the number of tourists visiting extreme conditions like the Sahara Desert or Antarctica has been growing.'
cohesion
Use appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. For example, you might use 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'In addition' to introduce new points.
coherence
Be more consistent in maintaining a clear structure throughout the essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by relevant details and examples.
language use
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your argument more compelling and engaging.
task achievement
The essay correctly identifies and addresses both the benefits and drawbacks of visiting places like Antarctica.
conclusion
The conclusion appropriately summarizes the main points and offers a recommendation for tourists.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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