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Band 7

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #consumers #supermarket #food #world #development
People have different points of view about whether having easy access to
food
 produced all over the world is positive. Personally, I agree with the convenience
this
 trend bringing to
consumers
;
however
, there are still several problems for the local farmers and
merchants
 that can't be ignored. At
first,
as far as
consumers
 are concerned, buying various exotic products at local supermarkets without going abroad is
such
 a giant benefit.
Although
 there might be an extra fee people have to afford compared to buying products in those countries, it is always cheaper a lot than a flying ticket.
Besides
 the good bargains people can get, the opportunity to experience
food
 in different countries no longer belongs to the well-off only;
that is
, everyone has a chance to learn about abundant culture through the
food
.
For example
, from all sorts of cheese from Europe or tea from the United Kingdom, we can learn about their unique lifestyles.
Nevertheless
, despite the fact that importing foreign
food
 has some benefits for
consumers
, there is a negative impact on local farmers
as well as
merchants
. Since
food
 from other countries is possibly in the same category as local
food
, local
food
 turns out to be not only choice for
consumers
.
Therefore
, the quality or price becomes
factor
Add an article
a factor
show examples
 in the decision
while
 purchasing. Under
this
 circumstance, local farmers and
merchants
 have to compete with foreign
food
 by better quality or lower prices so as to attract
consumers
 to buy, which causes them not only cost but
also
 tremendous stress.
Finally
, it might end up that local agriculture is in regression and even gradually deteriorating. In conclusion, I consider that there are pros and cons in importing
food
 to a certain degree, but how to keep a balance between benefitting
consumers
 and protecting local
merchants
 at the same time is an important issue for the government, or it might turn out to put the national
food
-related industry in danger.
Submitted by jeanwen2001 on

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task achievement
Ensure all points and examples directly support your thesis. For example, the benefits of local shopping can be expanded with specific examples or data.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more effectively to enhance the flow between your points. Phrases like "on the other hand" could help make the transitions smoother.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing key points effectively.
task achievement
You have thoughtfully addressed both sides of the argument, reflecting a balanced view on the topic.
task achievement
Your writing demonstrates a good command of the English language, with a variety of vocabulary used appropriately.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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