Some people believe that the government spend too much money on wildlife protection projects and the money should be used for other things. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, one of the responsibilities of governments is to conserve wildlife from several dangers like animal extinction.
Nevertheless
, some believe that the budget spending on
this
issue is more than enough. In
this
essay, I will examine
this
phenomenon and delve into both opinions, for and against
this
idea; and at
last
, I will express my point of view on
this
topic.
To begin
with, people who advocate
this
idea think the money spent on the protection of wildlife can be devoted to higher priorities.
For example
,
this
money can be spent to save many people who suffer from poverty or even alleviate the public health facilities in poor countries. The other groups may suggest that the investment in long-term solutions would be more effective.
For instance
, granting funds for scientific research on the replacement of fossil fuels with cleaner, more sustainable kinds of energy, in the long run, may save more creatures including humans, animals and plants.
On the other hand
, the opponents of
this
belief consider what is accountable for the current circumstances as the human profound alternation to nature. In
this
respect, governments should dedicate a considerable part of their annual budgets to compensate for the detrimental actions that have been made by humans.
Furthermore
,
according to
recent studies, in some regions of the earth, the situation of wilderness is critical and demands a quick and adequate response. Unless proportionate actions, irreversible consequences are inevitable.
To conclude
from the aforementioned material, The crises that have been endangering wild nature should be addressed quickly and effectively.
Although
some governments assign a few budgets to address
this
issue, It seems that these efforts and investments are inadequate and disproportionate to the pace of devastating changes.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Task Achievement
To further improve your task achievement score, try incorporating more specific examples to support your points. This deepens the explanation and strengthens your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Continue refining the logical flow and linkage of ideas between paragraphs for even greater coherence. Though your essay is well-structured, enhancing transitions could make your argument even more persuasive.
Task Achievement
You have successfully presented a balanced view covering both sides of the argument before stating your own conclusion, demonstrating a comprehensive response to the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion, all contributing to a strong structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • moral obligation
  • extinction
  • economic benefits
  • ecosystem services
  • sustainable development
  • environmental preservation
  • long-term ecological and economic costs
  • investments in wildlife protection
  • biodiversity loss
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