In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, some
companies
have shifted to remote working.
While
some people argue that
such
a policy is beneficial for success, other
companies
require employees to be at their offices during working hours.
This
essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the former. On the one hand, many
companies
hold the view that working together as a team in one space might lead to better results than if everyone works from home.
In other words
, as the employees are in a corporate environment, they might show more discipline, which, in turn, has a positive effect on the
work
process.
However
, I do not think that working online will affect task completion and results.
For example
,
according to
a recent study where one of the two departments of the company has been shifted to
work
from a distance showed the same achievements as office workers.
On the other hand
, a growing number of corporations believe that as remote employment may contribute to the well-being of the labour,
companies
will experience better payoffs. It means that distant
work
enhances well-being by reducing transportation and clothing expenses,
as well as
minimizing commuting time.
For instance
, the survey showed that people who worked remotely reported better well-being and were more inclined to perform effectively. I agree with
this
argument because, as discussed above, if a person is satisfied and has their basic needs met, they are likely to show positive outcomes in their
work
. In conclusion,
although
there are concerns that working online may reduce discipline, it brings significant benefits
such
as improved employee well-being and increased motivation to
work
effectively.
Submitted by nurtoleu.nursulu on

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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, discussing both views and giving a clear opinion. However, more specific examples and statistical data could enhance the arguments further.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is thoroughly supported with specific examples or detailed explanations. Currently, some points are not as well-supported as they could be.
coherence and cohesion
The essay generally maintains a clear and logical structure. Nevertheless, improving the coherence between some paragraphs and within them can make the arguments even smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Use more transition words and phrases to enhance the flow of the essay. This will improve the connectivity between ideas and provide a more cohesive overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effective, providing a solid framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively compares and contrasts both views, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
The use of a recent study and a survey in the body paragraphs adds credibility to the arguments made.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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