IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, some
companies
Use synonyms
 have shifted to remote working.
While
Linking Words
 some people argue that
such
Linking Words
 a policy is beneficial for success, other
companies
Use synonyms
 require employees to be at their offices during working hours.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the former. On the one hand, many
companies
Use synonyms
 hold the view that working together as a team in one space might lead to better results than if everyone works from home.
In other words
Linking Words
, as the employees are in a corporate environment, they might show more discipline, which, in turn, has a positive effect on the
work
Use synonyms
 process.
However
Linking Words
, I do not think that working online will affect task completion and results.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 a recent study where one of the two departments of the company has been shifted to
work
Use synonyms
 from a distance showed the same achievements as office workers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a growing number of corporations believe that as remote employment may contribute to the well-being of the labour,
companies
Use synonyms
 will experience better payoffs. It means that distant
work
Use synonyms
 enhances well-being by reducing transportation and clothing expenses,
as well as
Linking Words
 minimizing commuting time.
For instance
Linking Words
, the survey showed that people who worked remotely reported better well-being and were more inclined to perform effectively. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument because, as discussed above, if a person is satisfied and has their basic needs met, they are likely to show positive outcomes in their
work
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are concerns that working online may reduce discipline, it brings significant benefits
such
Linking Words
 as improved employee well-being and increased motivation to
work
Use synonyms
 effectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, discussing both views and giving a clear opinion. However, more specific examples and statistical data could enhance the arguments further.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is thoroughly supported with specific examples or detailed explanations. Currently, some points are not as well-supported as they could be.
coherence and cohesion
The essay generally maintains a clear and logical structure. Nevertheless, improving the coherence between some paragraphs and within them can make the arguments even smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Use more transition words and phrases to enhance the flow of the essay. This will improve the connectivity between ideas and provide a more cohesive overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effective, providing a solid framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively compares and contrasts both views, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
The use of a recent study and a survey in the body paragraphs adds credibility to the arguments made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: