In many countries, the government invests a significant amount of money in the arts, including music. Some people argue that this funding should be redirected to other areas such as education and healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
in the contemporary modern world, diverse aspects of
art
have been held more attention by people
in comparison to previous decades; In different parts of the world, a considerable amount of countries budget is dedicated to the art
sector, while
there is a group
who opines that such
money
should be devoted for more crucial sectors such
as organizations which are associated to the health and education. I do not agree with this
group
's perspective and this
argument will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
as mentioned above, some people
express that devoting funding to the art
industry including music, films, paintings and some others is an unnecessary action due to
the fact that there are more vital issues which should be focused.
Change preposition
on.
In
these Change preposition
From
group
's viewpoint, dedicating more amount of money
to healthcare
system -the funding which is redirected from the Add an article
the healthcare
art
sector- will provide a wider enhancement field for diagnosing and curing ailments. Accordingly
, they claim that costing more in
educational system will bear more advantageous points for society; more experts and scholars will be available for the future of the country, Correct your spelling
an
the
issue which will cause more progress in various areas. Correct article usage
an
However
, the most important aspect of art
which is cultural heritage has been ignored in this
notion; the cultures and customs of each nation are mostly demonstrated by their pantings
, handicrafts and music, Correct your spelling
paintings
hence
it should be a great budget for maintaining them.
Others and I, in addition
, have a point of view which proposed
that Wrong verb form
proposes
art
has a significant place in people
's lives and it
cannot be counted as a trivial item. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For example
, according to
some investigations treatment with music is one of substantial
therapeutic ways Add an article
the substantial
in
mental diseases Change preposition
for
such
as depression, thus
it is vital to compose some pieces for such
treatment; this
subject will require a
specified funding for developing more accurate procedures. Remove the article
apply
Besides
, some people
's incomes and occupations are dependent to
the Change preposition
on
art
industry by diminishing such
sector, their career will be at risk. Therefore
, this
issue will bear more fundamental problems for the government; if artists cannot earn a good living, country
will be in charge of providing their initial requirements.
In conclusion, nowadays, authorities spend a great amount of Add an article
the country
money
on the art
department, a matter which is exorbitantly and unrequited in
some Change preposition
from
people
's perspective; they cite that this
money
should be transmitted to other essential departments. I am not of this
group
's opinion as all areas should have their own funding for developing
.Replace the word
development
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task achievement
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, addressing the prompt directly and ensuring a structured response.
supported main points
The argument against redirecting funding from the arts to healthcare and education is well presented, incorporating thoughtful reasoning and supporting examples.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.