IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Task 2 There is more and more outrage and anger common in society today. Why is this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

#outrage #anger #society #development
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Presently, human behaviour
are seem
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seems
show examples
 to be changing drastically. Emotions like
anger
Use synonyms
 and hate towards
people
Use synonyms
has
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have
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 become very common
amongst
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our society.
Due to
Linking Words
 that, there are incidents where outrage
of
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or
show examples
 very serious
anger
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 is clearly
noticable
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noticeable
.
Overall
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, there is a list of these problems but the main reasons are hate towards others achievement,
economical
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economic
show examples
 disparity and injustice towards Crime victims.
Hence
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,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss my
view points
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viewpoints
show examples
 with relevant
example
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examples
show examples
 in the upcoming paragraphs. The primary cause of
anger
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 could be
competiton
Correct your spelling
competition
 and peer pressure. As observed, nowadays competition is in each and every
feild
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field
.
People
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 build up their
anger
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 on a level that they want to defeat everyone who
are
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is
show examples
surronded
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surrounded
them
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by them
show examples
.
Pressure
Add an article
The pressure
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of achieving
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to achieve
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 something in their lives is commonly seen within
middel
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middle
 and lower range
community
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communities
show examples
. To exemplify, maintaining livelihood, earning better money to
fullfil
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fulfil
 their own needs and to live a luxurious life has become a dream for these
people
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.
Besides
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 that, not getting any closer to these set of goals boils their blood into jealousy,
haterage
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hatred
 and
anger
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 towards
people
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. There are various incidents where humans
burstout
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burst out
 their emotions on several mediums
such
Linking Words
 as social media via
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
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 and
twitter
Capitalize word
Twitter
show examples
 as negative comments are passed or said with their personal opinions on a public platform where they think that they can provoke or hurt anyone they don't like.
However
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, there are
also
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 situations where the emotions are outraged for the betterment of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. Citizens
fighting
Wrong verb form
fight
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 in favour of the suffered victims of some serious
crime
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crimes
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as rape,
assualt
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assault
 and
murders
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murder
show examples
.
People
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 support
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 are not able to get justice for themselves, they fight with
such
Linking Words
 rage so the
suffered
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suffering
show examples
 victims can get
the
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their
show examples
 rights and the guilty ones should be given their punishments.
Although
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,
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apply
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 there are positive outcomes seen
due to
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 the issue of
anger
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 within individuals it cannot be compared that the negative outcomes
aremore
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are more
 and are
harmful
Correct quantifier usage
more harmful
show examples
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the
enviornment
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environment
 and the nation.
Thus
Linking Words
, no
such
Linking Words
 positive development can occur
due to
Linking Words
 these multiple circumstances happening in our
surrondings
Correct your spelling
surroundings
.
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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, presenting reasons for the increase in outrage and anger in society and addressing whether this is a positive or negative development. However, supporting examples need to be more specific and relevant.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, the logical structure can be improved. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point and develop it fully before moving on to the next idea.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that main points are supported with clear, relevant examples. Try to provide detailed explanations to back up the points you make.
general
The essay contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Pay special attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.
general
Using a wider range of vocabulary accurately and effectively can help to improve the overall quality of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the reasons for increased outrage and anger and evaluating whether this is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the discussion well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Outrage culture
  • Amplification
  • Economic hardship
  • Sensationalist
  • Polarization
  • Constructive outcomes
  • Social frustration
  • Divisiveness
  • Societal norms
  • Historical context
What to do next:
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