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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The chart shows the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The chart shows the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
graps
Correct your spelling
graphs
grapes
 illustrate the result of renewing the Ashdown Museum on both visitor numbers and
overall
Linking Words
 satisfaction. Specifically, The table presents the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
before and after being
reconstruction
Replace the word
reconstructed
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart demonstrates the result of a survey conducted to measure the
Use synonyms
visitors
Change noun form
visitor's
visitors'
show examples
satisfation
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
. In general,the amount of the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 surged after the renewal ,
Similarly
Linking Words
, the satisfaction levels increased. The year before the refurbishment, only 74,000 visited the museum ;
however
Linking Words
, over 90,000 individuals visited the refurbished
muesum
Correct your spelling
museum
. Before the
renwal
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renewal
, about 40% of the guests were
unstaisfied
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unsatisfied
satisfied
 and 30% were extremely dissatisfied ;only a minority were satisfied and very satisfied ( 10 % and 15% respectively. In the
after math
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aftermath
show examples
 of the
renwal
Correct your spelling
renewal
, most
visitors
Use synonyms
were vary
Change the verb form
were varied
were varying
show examples
 satisfied and satisfied 35% and 40%
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
. dissatisfied and very dissatisfied guests were a minority of only 20%.Notably, in both years about 5% of surveyers refused to
answare
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answer
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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