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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of a drug company’s total sales, by region, from 2002 to 2006.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the percentage of a drug company’s total sales, by region, from 2002 to 2006.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#percentage #drug #company’s #sales #region #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of cure company's sales between 2002 and 2006 in
Asia
Use synonyms
,
Europe
Use synonyms
 and
America
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
buyers
Correct quantifier usage
number of buyers
show examples
 in
Asia
Use synonyms
 increased
steady
Change the word
steadily
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
Europe
Use synonyms
 and
America
Use synonyms
, it decreased with the
fluctuative
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
 trends. Looking at the information in more detail, the
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
show examples
 always rose over the 5-year period shown. In 2002, total sales of firms was only a quarter,
then
Linking Words
 grew to 30 in the next year and changed to 40 in 2006. Compared with
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two regions,
Asia
Use synonyms
became
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest percentage of drug
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
show examples
 in 2006.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the initial sales in 2002 in
Europe
Use synonyms
 and
America
Use synonyms
 were 34 and 41 respectively. For
Europe
Use synonyms
, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
show examples
 proportion in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 2 years before fell to 34 in 2005 and 30 in 2006. A similar condition has happened in
America
Use synonyms
, where the largest demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
cure
Fix the agreement mistake
cures
show examples
 in 2002 was here, exceeded
Asia
Use synonyms
 and
Europe
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, it fell to only 30 in 2006.
Submitted by hikmanurdin04 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words asia, europe, america with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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