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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year.

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year.
#bar #world #illiteracy #rates #region #gender #year
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The following bar chart represents an estimated
percentages
Correct the article-noun agreement
percentage
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 of global illiteracy rates in two different aspects: region and gender, in
previous
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the previous
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 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that developed countries allocated the fewest number of those who
illiterate
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were illiterate
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the other areas underwent relatively high figures
of
Change preposition
for
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 illiteracy.
However
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that the literacy rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 worldwide
experienced
Verb problem
apply
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were
Change the verb form
was
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 in crisis.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, undoubtedly, developed nations
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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by far accounted for the
fewest
Correct word choice
lowest
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 rate of illiteracy with less than 2%.
While
Linking Words
 America and
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
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 zone reported
with
Change preposition
apply
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approximately 10-20% of illiterate, the other three areas
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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almost tripled within a range of 30-60%. In regards to sexes, a closer look
of
Change preposition
at
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 the diagram, it
is
Verb problem
apply
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noticeable that
females
Fix the agreement mistake
female
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 literacy rates depicted
such
Linking Words
 worrying trends in every region across the globe. Though developed countries
along with
Linking Words
American
Correct article usage
the American
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 and Caribbean zone had
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
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difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
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 between
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 genders about 1-2%, others represent a much wider gap up to 10-20%, especially in South Asia in which illiterate women outnumbered their counterparts and others at 55%.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
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