The bar chart below shows the percentage of unemployed graduates, aged 20-24, in one European country over a two-year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant

The bar chart below shows the percentage of unemployed graduates, aged 20-24, in one European country over a two-year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below shows the percentage of unemployed graduates, aged 20-24, in one European country over a two-year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant
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This
Linking Words
bar chart depicts the
percentage
Use synonyms
of unemployed graduates, aged 20-24, in one European country over the past two years. it is clear from the graph that the people who graduate have no experience.
According to
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what is shown On 9 October the
percentage
Use synonyms
of the people who did not get jobs was almost 24 for the
men
Use synonyms
, and for the women about 14, but for the
men
Use synonyms
the chart says that there were jobs because, on April 8, the
percentage
Use synonyms
says
otherwise
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.
In addition
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for
men
Use synonyms
, it could be like 7 on the other side for women could be 4. I believe that if
men
Use synonyms
folks work on themselves
while
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they are studying by collecting some experience at the same time they will acquire money
while
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they are continuing their studies and the same for women because these days A lot of companies ask for experience not just a certificate.
To sum up
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, we could say that there was a big difference between the months in 2008 and 2009 since the
percentage
Use synonyms
is growing mostly.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, men with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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