It is commonly said that today's children are facing huge challenges. This essay indent to discuss the causes of these pressures and give some suggestions to solve them.
The hectic and fast-paced lifestyle in the twenty-first century incurs tremendous levels of pressure on a spectrum of socioeconomic issues which can be unbearable owing to the limited human capacity. Children are not an exception and are witnessing enormous difficulties.
This
essay will discuss why Linking Words
this
is the case and provide recommendations to address the reasons.
On the one hand, there are a variety of characteristics associated with the modern lifestyle that put immense strains on adolescents. Linking Words
Firstly
, high family expectations may result in teenagers shattering under peer pressure or potentially lead to loneliness or social isolation. If parents set unrealistic goals which are not proportionate to their juveniles' capacity, the younger generation risks becoming hopeless and even anti-social, a recent Harvard study reveals. Linking Words
Furthermore
, the overcompetitive nature of the educational system puts more fuel to the fire resulting in even higher levels of mental disorder and anxiety for adolescents. Linking Words
Hence
, both families and schools are major sources of stress for children which can lead to huge dysfunction in their mental and physical skills.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, these unfortunate ramifications which cripple teenagers' ability to flourish their learning talents, nurture their entertaining aptitudes or even become prosperous in their future profession can be tackled appropriately. The educational system and the school curriculum should adapt their approach from a narrow-minded one to a holistic one. If schools changed their nuanced grading mechanism from the current detrimental competition to a pass-or-fail method, students would feel relieved and score higher quality performances, Linking Words
for instance
. Linking Words
Moreover
, parents Linking Words
also
should adjust their anticipations which will not only encourage their loved ones to pursue their true desires at school but Linking Words
also
will Linking Words
further
decrease levels of peer pressure which is a hazardous source of many pernicious repercussions.
In conclusion, both families and schools are generating tremendous challenges for the innocent younger generation in terms of unrealistic anticipations and a perilous competition-based educational mechanism. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, solutions ought to be investigated inside the sources, which means families should lower their rigid and unrealistically high expectations and give more liberty to their juveniles which fosters respect and growth. Linking Words
Subsequently
, the school system should alter the dangerous competitive nature of their grading philosophy to an adaptable fail-or-pass method which is more compatible with the aspirations of the youth and Linking Words
also
reduces mental anxiety and stress.Linking Words
Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While your essay effectively discusses the main issues and provides relevant solutions, specifying more examples or evidence could further strengthen your argument. This would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing clarity by using simpler sentence structures in complex points. This would further improve the reader's comprehension.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and focused response to the prompt, addressing both causes and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is strong, and each paragraph flows seamlessly to the next, maintaining a coherent flow of ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example