Some people think that governments in developing countries should introduce new technologies to people in order to improve the quality of life, while others believe that in order to achieve that governments should offer free education for all. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

There is no denying the fact that these days, Some folks think that governments in developing countries should show the public new technologies to
people
to improve the quality of life,
while
others think that to achieve that governments should offer free
education
for all. it is a commonly held belief that
people
think that if the government introduces new technologies they would improve the lives of many folks. There is no argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the government should make agreements with some colleges and universities to offer free
education
for those
people
who can not afford the fees
due to
the huge amount of money that educational institutions acquire.
To begin
with, Technologies I agree that
people
will ask the government for it because it will improve and make life easier than it should be, but
people
need to get to college and begin to gain
acknowledgment
Change the spelling
acknowledgement
show examples
,
In other words
, some institutions allow students to practice to apply what they have learned which is considerably something amazing,
In addition
, they will graduates and they have everything they need to start their careers,
For example
, The scientist, Armond has graduated from the master degree and was the first man on earth to innovate the robots. Another point to consider, In the first paragraph
education
played a role in the story so everything will come with
education
and persistence, it is
also
possible to say that many
people
have innovated a lot of useful things, and they have never heard about something called university,
Moreover
, sometimes we can recognize our capabilities with
education
.
For instance
, Hassan was the first man who innovated the cars and he never entered any kind of institution but he learned by himself. In conclusion, despite
people
having different views, I believe that we should do our parts in
this
life and we will eventually get what we worked for.
Submitted by fnokgamer11 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and both viewpoints. The introduction here could be more concise and focused.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. The essay mentions Armond and Hassan, but it would benefit from clearer details about their contributions.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas more effectively. Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop each paragraph fully, ensuring that all main points are well-supported and logically organized.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints, addressing the issue of new technologies and free education.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the author's opinion effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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