IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that there are constant traffic jams in many cities around the world. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In today's era of modern world,everything is materialistic and
as a result
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 of
this
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people
Use synonyms
 are buying more things.
Thus
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, car ownership has elevated at a higher speed in the
last
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 thirty years.
However
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,it is not the only reason for
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion in many urban areas around the globe.The following paragraphs will elucidate the different reasons responsible for the
traffic
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 jams and will shed light on the measures that the government can implement effectively to demotivate folks from purchasing
cars
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 in the future.
To begin
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 with, there are numerous factors which are responsible for
traffic
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 congestion
in addition
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 to car ownership.The unavailability of good infrastructure like roads,underpasses and
traffic
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 signals seems to encourage the
traffic
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 .
For instance
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, as per the latest survey conducted on the road signals in Pune city of India ,it was found that 30 % of
traffic
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 lights were not working which resulted in confusion among the
people
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 and they started to follow their own
traffic
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 rules creating jams in the various area during the peak hours.
Furthermore
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,the lack of public transport
also
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 encourages
people
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 to drive their own
cars
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 to their workplaces . To remedy
this
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 situation , public organisations can implement various solutions which will discourage
people
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 from buying their own
cars
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.The availability of public transport covering maximum areas of metropolitan cities in less time than that of the
cars
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.To illustrate,in Delhi ,the capital of India , Metro services have started and travel time to the workplace is less than that of
cars
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 and buses.
Moreover
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,the government has established free fare rules for females in Metro to encourage travel by train.
To sum up
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 ,in my view, the given statement is partially true as there are different reasons which have resulted in
traffic
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 congestion in the urban areas.
Nonetheless
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, the government can implement some potential measures to reduce car ownership which has increased rapidly in the past 30 years.

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coherence cohesion
Be careful with run-on sentences, as they can make your writing harder to follow. Try breaking up long sentences into shorter, clearer ones.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data where necessary to support your arguments. This will strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction sets a clear tone for the essay and your conclusion effectively summarizes your points.
task achievement
You clearly addressed the topic by discussing the factors contributing to traffic congestion beyond just car ownership.
coherence cohesion
Your essay had a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The solutions you offered, such as improvements in public transportation, are practical and relevant.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rapidly
  • traffic jams
  • car ownership
  • partially true
  • extent
  • infrastructure
  • population density
  • public transportation
  • measures
  • discourage
  • reduce
  • congestion
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