Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

In the present climate, social
media
has gained popularity among individuals. In order to, keep in touch with each other people are depending on social
media
.
Although
online
media
can bring some merits, I
Believe
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believe
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that the potential
drawbaks
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drawbacks
such
as
phsically
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physical
and
mentally
Change the word
mental
show examples
ailments overshadow the benefits.
On
Correct your spelling
One
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of the main setbacks of
virtual
Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
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world
is
phsically
Correct your spelling
physical
issues.
For instance
, prolonged exposure to
screen
Fix the agreement mistake
screens
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can
invite
Verb problem
cause
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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problems
such
as obesity and eye strain which can lately
coused
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cause
fatal diseases
such
as heart
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
.Moving
further
, dependency on the online
world
can
also
elimnate
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eliminate
physically
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physical
show examples
intreaction
Correct your spelling
interaction
. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, if one
spend
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spends
show examples
exessive
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excessive
show examples
time on
the
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apply
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online
media
such
as Instagram,
Snapchat
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and Snapchat
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this
can lead to
be
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being
show examples
addicted
of
Change preposition
to
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these applications
thus
individuals would not try to
intreact
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interact
with anyone face to face as one find their whole
world
in
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on
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a small screen. After
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
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time
this
practise
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practice
show examples
lead
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leads
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to diseases
such
as depression and anxiety. On the other side, no doubt dependency on
virtual
Add an article
the virtual
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world
can make lifestyles worse . There are,
however
, few merits which can not be
neglectedb
Correct your spelling
neglected
.
For instance
, social
media
can
bring
Verb problem
be
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the most effective way to
inteact
Correct your spelling
interact
with your loved one without any restriction of distance.
Moreover
, it can
also
helps
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help
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to
Change preposition
apply
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individual
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individuals
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stay updated with the news from throughout the
world
. In conclusion,
although
social
media
has some potential that can
makes
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make
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lifestyles more updated .
However
, overreliance upon
the
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apply
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online applications can lead to some problems that can impact
bad
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badly
show examples
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health for the rest of the life
Submitted by amarbatth367 on

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grammatical accuracy
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task response
Expand on points and provide more detailed examples to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression of ideas.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for the essay.
complete response
The essay attempts to balance both advantages and disadvantages, which shows an effort to address both sides of the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • to connect with friends and family
  • to preserve bonds
  • real-time updates
  • a wide range of perspectives
  • global happenings
  • business opportunities
  • networking opportunities
  • mental health issues
  • unrealistic portrayals of life
  • privacy breaches
  • identity theft
  • addiction
  • time management
  • productivity
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