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Band 6

As we are facing more and more problems, which affect the whole planet, good relationships between different countries are becoming more important than ever before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#planet #relationships #countries
Nowadays global issues are rising very rapidly
due to
 which maintaining good relationships with other
nations
 is considered to be essential. I agree with
this
 statement because I think
coronavirus
Correct article usage
the coronavirus
show examples
 pandemic has proved why different
countries
 should work together as one and at times of natural calamities taking help from other
countries
 is very important in order to save the lives of many people. To embark on, when the whole world was suffering from the coronavirus pandemic, many people lost their friends and families
due to
 the lack of proper medical treatments and vaccines. At that time the
nations
 worked together and helped each other to make supplies if required medication.
For instance
, India provided help to Bengal and Nepal by sending Oxygen cylinders and other medical appliances.
Thus
, maintaining health relations among other
countries
 is becoming very important.
Furthermore
, another reason for
countries
 to work together is the rise in natural disasters
such
floods
Change preposition
as floods
show examples
, tsunamis or droughts. Suddenly when a country faces natural calamities it loses all its resources and infrastructure.
Therefore
, it becomes important for a country to ask for help from other
nations
.
For example
, when Pakistan lost all its essential goods and commodities
due to
 heavy rain the prices of goods skyrocketed and
due to
 bad relations with its neighbouring
countries
 they could not take help.
This
 is why making good relationships with other
countries
 is so important. To recapitulate, it is becoming significantly important for
countries
 to be friends with other
countries
 as many problems are rising with our planet Earth. The
covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic is the recent and most important example of why
countries
 should maintain healthy relations with other
countries
as well
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an increase in natural calamities results in the destruction of available resources of a country, which leads it to take help from other
nations
 to revive.
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coherence cohesion
To improve your score, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and fully develops a single idea. Additionally, work on providing more detailed and specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. For example, discuss both the importance of international cooperation and potential drawbacks or counterarguments.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your examples, such as the one about the coronavirus pandemic, are relevant and help illustrate your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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