In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is believed that the decreasing population in suburbs is impacted by many rural
people
who move to urban areas
. In my view, this
should be perceived as a negative trend because it may cause overpopulation and social inequality in big cities
.
It is believed by many that urban cities
offer more opportunities for employment in many sectors, therefore
many people
from suburbs are attracted to move to urban areas
in order to get a higher income. This
migration may lead to overpopulation which causes some problems such
as traffic congestion, an increase of
air pollution and water waste, and Change preposition
in
lack
of housing infrastructure. Correct article usage
a lack
As a result
, the government needs to invest an extra cost to remove these concerns.
Another reason to be considered, people
who come from rural areas
often come to the city without particular skills or knowledge. As a consequence
, it is difficult for them to enter the job market and get paid decently. While
the cost of living in cities
is much higher than in suburbs, they may not be able to full-fill
their primary needs. Correct your spelling
fulfil
This
leads to social inequality because they are unlikely to get access to facilities that may enhance their quality of life. For example
, in the capital city of Indonesia, Jakarta, there are many people
who build their houses illegally in slum areas
because they can’t afford the legal housing one
, which the price already skyrocketed.
In conclusion, the increasing number of Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
who move to urban cities
must be considered as
negative development because it triggers Correct your spelling
a
over population
and social inequality in one particular city.Correct your spelling
overpopulation
Submitted by averinasandra on
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task achievement
Although the main points are clear and relevant, ensure to provide more diverse and detailed examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured and easy to follow. However, try to improve the transitional phrases to achieve smoother flow between points.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical and word choice issues such as 'remove these concerns' which could be better phrased as 'address these concerns.'
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The response addresses the task comprehensively, considering both causes and consequences of rural-urban migration.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are used to support the main points, making the argument more convincing.