Some people think that competitive sports are important for a child education, oth ers think that it has negative effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #child #education #oth #ers #effects

this

world, competitive

sports

are important for a

child

's education. And it's playing an important role in shaping a

child

's personality.

For instance

, Football can give the

child

confidence

Add an article

the confidence

show examples

to be a leader in his position and feel comfortable in doing something has many

sides

Fix the agreement mistake

side

show examples

results. Maybe he win it and learn how to be humble about it,

Also

sometimes competitive

sports

let him try the feeling of losing a match and get the motivation to not give up and continue the journey he started. Those who see it

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

have a negative impact. I think they are wrong and don't understand the importance of letting the

child

learn from his experience in life, which, in

this

case, is competitive

sports

Also

, they may say he's going to have hard

emotions

Replace the word

emotional

show examples

feelings in case of defeat, But these hard feelings shape his character and improve mental health in a good way. In conclusion, competitive

sports

have many benefits to a

child

's education and should be implemented in schools very often.

Submitted by abood291a on Wed Aug 28 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay would benefit from a clearer introduction to outline the purpose and structure of the discussion. Present both views explicitly before stating your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Sometimes, the points feel a bit abrupt. Use transitional phrases to smoothly link your ideas and paragraphs.

Task Achievement

While you have included examples, they could be more specific. Elaborate on how exactly sports might improve confidence and leadership, as well as how losing can build resilience.

Task Achievement

Ensure you address both perspectives equally before stating your opinion to provide a balanced viewpoint.

Task Achievement

The main idea is clear and holds a logical stance on the importance of competitive sports for a child's education.

Coherence and Cohesion

You concluded the essay effectively by reiterating your position on the benefits of competitive sports.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

171 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that competitive sports are important for a child education, oth ers think that it has negative effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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Nowadays people waste a lot of food that was bought over the world. Why do you think people waste food? What can be done to reduce the amount of food they throw away?

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Some people prefer to eat meals at restaurants, while others like to prepare and eat food in their own home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.