IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

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Nowadays, many communities use social
media
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 as their source of information . Specifically, In
this
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 modern world that we live in, everything can be found on the internet.In my opinion, I believe that the positive points of using social
media
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 surpass the negative aspects. First and foremost there are numerous benefits of using social
media
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 . People can receive news content from all around the globe for free. it
also
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 can be used for communication .
As well as
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 , there are a variety of different apps to communicate with friends and family members
such
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 as Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, WeChat and many more . For one clear example, there have been many studies done based on the usage of social
media
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 for communication and it was found that the number of families that kept in touch with one another despite living overseas is higher than the ones who communicated with each other via letters and other old-fashioned ways.
Moreover
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, the internet can offer its users a huge selection of different entertainment and can be used in many ways.
On the other hand
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, Social
media
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 can have a lot of cons.
Furthermore
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, there are many evil minds who take advantage of
this
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 opportunity to spread false news.
For instance
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, a few months ago a teenage boy in Australia posted on different blogs that a hurricane was going to happen in a few hours , which alerted his community and panicked them.
above all
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 in
this
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 time period we are living in ,many things can be done by using social
media
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 through mobiles and other electronics , which can affect your eyesight and the
overall
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 health of humans .
Therefore
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, it is advised to use other forms ,if the person is interested in knowing the events that are happening all around the world.
to conclude
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, it is frequently believed by many internet users that social
media
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 has its only good side and perks .But that statement is definitely wrong as it can
also
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 have its downsides. In my opinion, I believe that anyone can benefit from it if used correctly .

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task achievement
While your essay presents a clear stance and includes relevant examples, try to avoid small grammatical errors and typos (e.g., 'advamtages' should be 'advantages'). Also, ensure that each point is well-supported and clearly transitions from one to another.
coherence cohesion
Enhance cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., in contrast, moreover, etc.) to further improve paragraph connections. Pay attention to punctuation and capitalization, especially at the beginning of sentences.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively presented both sides of the argument, which strengthens your essay. The structure is clear, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are communicated clearly, and you have included relevant examples to support your points, making your argument more convincing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • to connect with friends and family
  • to preserve bonds
  • real-time updates
  • a wide range of perspectives
  • global happenings
  • business opportunities
  • networking opportunities
  • mental health issues
  • unrealistic portrayals of life
  • privacy breaches
  • identity theft
  • addiction
  • time management
  • productivity
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