Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #people #effects

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An advertisement in the modern world is the most important tool of trade and influence to people. I think that

Correct article usage

the

show examples

effect on

children

Use synonyms

is stronger and has negative consequences because they

don’t

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know how to distinguish good from evil and they are very trusting. British scientists have found that

children

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under 6 years

don’t

Use synonyms

know

differences

Correct article usage

the differences

show examples

between advertisements and general TV programs. And they are easily manipulated. The negative effect of an advertisement is in many things.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is junk

food

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. We every day watch publicities of a fast

food

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Children

Use synonyms

think that it is a trend and want to eat in the same cafes all the time.

However

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, fast

food

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contains a lot of fats and carbohydrates. The same situation with chocolate which contains a lot of sugar.

Analytic

Replace the word

Analytics

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tells us that the amount of

children

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with obesity grows every year. And unhealthy

food

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can lead to serious illnesses

such

Linking Words

diabete

Correct your spelling

diabetes

and cancer.

Secondly

Linking Words

, nowadays there are many advertisements

Change preposition

for

show examples

different products and toys for

children

Use synonyms

on the Internet. If you or your child use

google

Capitalize word

Google

show examples

for searching something you will see

this

Linking Words

item advertised on every page of the Internet soon. Of

course

Add a comma

course,

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many

children

Use synonyms

will want to buy all the toys that they see. At an early

age

Add a comma

age,

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they simply

don’t

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understand how money is earned and a family budget is built.

Children

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start asking their parents to buy all the toys and

don’t

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understand why it is impossible.

This

Linking Words

created misunderstandings and disagreements between

children

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and parents. To summarize the above, I agree with many people that advertisements have a negative effect on

children

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Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

I believe, our government should ban or control

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

publishities

Correct your spelling

publishes

publicities

with unhealthy content for

children

Use synonyms

Submitted by aboykova13 on Wed Aug 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Clarify sentence structures to improve readability (e.g., 'An advertisement in the modern world is the most important tool of trade and influence to people' could be 'In the modern world, advertisements are a crucial tool for trade and influence.')

coherence cohesion

Add more transitions between paragraphs to improve flow and coherence (e.g., 'Additionally, many advertisements...')

task response

Provide more detailed examples or evidence to further strengthen your arguments

task response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and provides a well-rounded discussion of the topic.

task response

Each main point is supported with relevant arguments and examples, such as the negative effects of junk food and the impact of advertisements on family dynamics.

coherence cohesion

The essay has clear and concise ideas, making it easy to follow the author's train of thought.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Targeted advertising
Psychological development
Artificial needs
Unhealthy eating habits
Materialism
Consumerism
Parental responsibility
Critical thinking
Informative content
Economic implications
Revenue generation
Content creation

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Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both arguments and give your opinion

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for veey fast trains between cities. Other believes the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Write about the following topic. The internet has vastly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.