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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, the numbers of children aged 15 and younger are increasing dramatically. What are the current and future effects of an ever-increasing population?

#countries #numbers #children #future #effects #population
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Nowadays, there is an increasing
amount
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 of citizens aged 15.
While
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 in the nearest decades, there will be a balanced
society
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 and solved issue of statelessness, It may lead to overpopulation. A constantly growing
amount
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 of youth leads to a balanced
society
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 in countries where there are lack of people. There will be monopolies with both pretty equal amounts of inhabitants and balance in boredom there.
As a result
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, governments will not be frustrated with an issue
such
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 as disbalance in
amount
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 of citizens.
For instance
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, in
such
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 monopolies as Germany or Korea, there is a problem with the absence of livers which authorities do not know how to solve. If there were enough citizens, politics would not faced with
this
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 debate .
Therefore
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, race in a
number
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 of youth allows us to cope with the lack of livers and imbalance in
society
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.
Although
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 there are benefits for the current century, there could be overpopulated countries. There will be a huge
amount
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 of people who will struggle with a lack of not only food but
also
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 drinking water.
For example
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, when an advanced
number
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 of individuals causes inconveniences and demand for food, policies look for neighbourhood planets like Mars as land with resources and areas to live in.
Thus
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, a growing
number
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 of teenagers will lead to overpopulation and exploration of outer space as a spot to live in.
To conclude
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, today it can be seen that race in a
number
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 of youngsters leads to balance in
society
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 for several cities
as well as
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 overpopulation for the next centuries. If there were rules about the
number
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 of youths who should live in a family, we would not face decreases in Korea and crowds in the future.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt but needs more development to fully cover the topic. Introduce more specific, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the clarity of your ideas by structuring your paragraphs better. Ensure each paragraph has a main idea that is supported by relevant details.
coherence cohesion
Work on your transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a framework for your essay.
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