Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important profession. Some people think that is fully justified while other think that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #profession

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Athletes

Use synonyms

who get good grades can earn more than those in other essential industries. Some individuals argue that it is completely justified,

although

Linking Words

others believe that it is unfair. In my opinion, I agree with the former. I tend to support the view that

sports

Use synonyms

professionals should earn more.

To begin

Linking Words

with, since the

athletes

Use synonyms

who got medals or good grades in international competitions all experienced a long time of hard practice, most of them had serious injuries; they not only suffered

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pain but

also

Linking Words

earned the glory of our country. Another key consideration should be that if successful

sports

Use synonyms

professionals can earn less than others, it will cut down teenagers' passion for

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

so the country's

sports

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strength will decline. Understandably, there are several reasons why the public thinks

that is

Linking Words

unfair. People might argue that people

such

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as scientists, doctors, and firemen, their works are more valuable because they can protect the public and make our lives better; they contribute more than

athletes

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, it may make kids think it is unnecessary to study because as long as they practice

sports

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hard they could be rich but after they become

athletes

Use synonyms

they may find it is not true, and they may regret it.

However

Linking Words

, as far as I am concerned,

firstly

Linking Words

, the

athletes

Use synonyms

who earn

much

Correct quantifier usage

a lot of

show examples

money account for a small part, as only very few people after professional training could reach the top globally.

Secondly

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, they have business value after they become successful,

such

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as letting the public be interested in

sports

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and getting a healthy body.

Overall

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while

Linking Words

in some ways it may seem reasonable that

athletes

Use synonyms

should not earn more than others, I personally believe that it is justified.

Submitted by yihualuo525 on Wed Aug 28 2024

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This would enhance the strength of your arguments and make your essay more compelling.

task achievement

Work on making your argumentation more sophisticated and nuanced. Currently, some points feel quite general, and a deeper analysis would contribute to a higher score.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next by using transitional phrases or words. This will help maintain the coherence of your essay and provide a smoother reading experience.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion can be strengthened by summarizing the key points of your argument before giving your final opinion. This will tie everything together more cohesively.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your argument well.

task achievement

You have provided a complete response to the task by discussing both sides of the argument and giving your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are clearly presented and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

income disparity
market dynamics
career longevity
revenue streams
role model
economic impact
societal values
undervaluation
compensation package
financial prioritization

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important profession. Some people think that is fully justified while other think that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

The use of mobile phones by students during school has become increasingly common. What are the advantages and disadvantages of allowing students to use mobile phones in schools?

share of income earned by top 1 percent, 1975-2015

Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. What are the causes of this phenomenon? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

n many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?