IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

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Over the past decades, there has been a sharp rise in ownership of automobiles in many urban areas worldwide, contributing to traffic congestion. Certainly, it occurs frequently
due to
 the low proportion of pedestrians who lose trust in the
drivers
 of buses and purchase motor
vehicles
 for personal needs.
As a result
, overflowing might occur on the road. From my perspective, in order to prevent
this
, the government might take more control of
drivers
 of public
vehicles
 and provide more offers for work of driving to get passengers from one point to another on time.
To begin
, one of the aspects of traffic congestion is purchasement of private
vehicles
.
In other words
, people began to understand that the purchase of private
vehicles
 means that it is a definition of a person’s wealth. Buying materials, like cars, might lead to an increase in social status. Another point is, that most people lose their trust in
drivers
 because they do not drive by timetable. To illustrate, the majority of people in Kazakhstan started to buy their own cars
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of trust. To tackle
this
 problem, the government should take care of the development of efficiency of public transportation.
In other words
, there have to be more buses, with responsible
drivers
. If the driver was late for the workplace, there would be issues with the timetable which would lead to the destruction of the person’s plan.
For instance
, in Germany, bus
drivers
 must undergo rigorous training and certification by the government.
This
 includes periodic training to maintain their certification, ensuring they stay up-to-date with safety regulations and practices, related to arriving at bus stops on time.
To conclude
,
although
 there is an increase in private cars, it is vital to promote the efficiency of public transportation.
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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs by using clearer transitions and connectives.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is expanded upon with detailed explanations and more comprehensive examples.
task achievement
Address the prompt directly by clearly discussing the extent to which you agree with the statement about car ownership and traffic jams.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, which helps illustrate the points discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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